Chrump's Talking A Lot, But He's Not Saying Anything

Threebate

October 23, 2020

After going full psychotic in the first debate, and missing the second one due to spending some quality time with the Virus That Don Built, Chrump braved steroids, women interviewers not willing to take any of his endless supply of bullshit. The Little Hands That Couldn’t begrudgingly signed on for a third and final debate. Chrump preemptively took issue with the moderator – a woman of color, and the topics previously agreed on by both sides.

Chrump needed a big debate win, but 

all he managed was a big debate whine

Crump also spent the week whining about the presence of a mute button, which was added as a result of his constant refusal to let either his opponent or the moderator utter a full sentence, without Chrump caterwauling lies and nonsense every 10 seconds, during the first debate. If anything, the mute button was implemented to protect Chrump from himself and his unstoppable need to hear is own voice every waking moment.

In the run-up to the big event, apparently wanting to warm up his misogyny muscles in preparation for berating Kristen Welker, Chrump went on 60 Minutes to verbally abuse Leslie Stahl for asking actual questions and calling out Il Douche’s repeated lies. The man with the world’s thinnest skin walked out on his 60 Minutes interview – like a real man.

At the final presidential debate of 2020, we were treated to – or victimized by, depending on your point of view – another incomparable performance by America’s favorite rabid wombat. Chrump showed up with a custom facial tint – according to experts, Sherwin-Williams’ Burnt Umbrage. Although the pre-debate tranquilizer darts had the desired effects, they were no match for the Orange Gas Cloud’s unstoppable mania.

Chrump’s meds had him restrained for a while, 

then more strident measures were needed

Chrump almost seemed human for several minutes, until he could no longer maintain his human façade and the real Donald Chrump emerged to take its rightful place, comparing himself to Lincoln, screaming about how his taxes continue their decades-long audit, about Mexican rapists and murderers, and about the pandemic just going away (again), and how great he was at killing more than 100,000 Americans with his Chrump Virus.

Talking Heads – Psycho Killer

I. Mangrey restraining. Only 10 more cheating days until Election Day.