The Lizard of Spaz

Chrump in Oz

October 8, 2020

There is a massive tornado tearing up large swaths of the United States. No, it is not the unrelenting COVID-19 pandemic. It is unlike anything the world has ever seen. Tearing up social norms. Breaking democratic and constitutional precedents like they were uncooked angel hair pasta. Killing people with reckless abandon, almost as though it was premeditated. Unless someone with a very, very large brain, perhaps a stable genius of some sort has the good sense to fire a nuclear weapon into this cataclysmic storm, we could be doomed.

The deadly Chrumpnado continues its unhuman assault

We all know how disruptive a tornado can be. At this point America is just one giant trailer park, helplessly rooted in place while the wanton winds of wreckage wage warfare on women, men, persons, TVs and cameras everywhere. One cannot help but think back to the most famous tornado of all – the one that deposited an entire, intact house on the Wicked Witch of The East…

Donald Chrump v. The Wizard of Oz

There are so many parallels between the surreal Donald Chrump and the phantasmagorical Wizard of Oz. Perhaps they are only in my Chrump-damaged head, but I hope you will allow me to share them with yours.

Like Dorothy, Donald Chrump is a lost little girl with a serious head injury, like the Lion, he has absolutely no courage; like the Scarecrow, he has no brain; like the Tin Man, he is lacking a heart. Unlike all these characters, Chrump believes he has no need for any of these things, and he is irredeemable on all fronts. He has no interest in acquiring either courage, heart or brain. None. And this, as perpetually unbelievable as it seems, is not a dream.

I don’t think Chrump is winning Kansas anymore

And Don has “hair” similar to that of another phony:

Wizard of Oz                         Wizard of Ooze

The difference between these two fraudsters is that, once exposed as little more than smoke and mirrors, the Wizard of Oz was able to show empathy and help Dorothy and friends understand their strengths. On the other hand, the Wizard of Ooze is all hair spray fumes and mirrors and has no empathy for anyone, and would never offer to help anyone with anything.

Chrump, sans spray tan, before his daily “hair” construction protocol

I. Mangrey imagining. Your carnage may vary.