The Polls Are Closing In
November 2, 2020, Later than you think
Donald Chrump, unable to slake his unquenchable thirst for
public adoration/murder spree, is leaving a trail of COVID infection across
Dumbfuckistan. According to studies, almost every stop on Chrump’s Traveling
COVID Contagion Circus – much more look-at-me than vote-for-me – has shown a
dramatic increase in cases after he leaves town, having whipped his mindless,
maskless minions into a diseased frenzy, and sends them on their way (at times,
only after they had to wait for hours in freezing cold temperatures and ending
up in the hospital) to infect thousands more, many of whom will die as a
result. Donald Chrump is a flesh-eating termite.
In fact, Chrump has always been the most effective messenger
for why he should be voted out of town on a rail. Even at the eleventh hour, COVID
Donny is working hard at literally killing off his base. A study found that his
super-spreader Chrump-a-thons are responsible for 30,000 new coronavirus infections,
including 700 deaths. Keep up the good work Mr. Chrump.
For his part, Joe Biden continues to hold medically responsible rallies across the battleground states. That is, when not having to cancel campaign events due to dangerous physical intimidation by Chrump goons, at the behest of Don, Jr. personally, on video. Can you say inciting violence? Biden is not making the mistake Hillary Clinton made by essentially sitting out the final days of the 2016 campaign, assuming her victory was in the bag. Instead, Biden is going full-tilt until the final buzzer. He teamed up with his extremely popular old running mate Barack Obama in Flint, Michigan.
With any luck, tomorrow Joe Biden will be windshield to
Donald Chrump’s bug.
Decision Indecision
As I looked ahead to casting my vote in the election of our lifetime – between
Joseph Robinette Biden and Donald Jar-Jar-Binks Chrump – it was difficult to decide
how to deal with Election Day. First of all, should I mail in a ballot, or risk
my very life voting in person. Not only because of the potential of catching a
snootful of COVID-19 by being in a crowd, but the chance of standing
dangerously close to one or more possibly armed Chrump enthusiast with their
idiotic MAGA hats, not wearing masks, and the likely inability to keep myself from
barfing all over my polling place at the thought of these people making up distressingly
close to half of the American electorate.
Feeling lucky not to be among Chrump’s hard-fought death count, I ended up canceling my mail-in ballot in order to see my vote on the evening news on Election Night. Since I am going to vote in person, I will have to protect myself by constantly spraying my mask with alcohol and wearing my own semi-appropriate, decidedly non-MAGA hat. I will try to resist drinking disinfectant or trying to shine ultraviolet light up my ass as recommended by Brainless Leader.
Election Day Eve Quandary
My main problem though, is I am torn over what to do as the returns meander in after polls close. It’s hard to decide whether I should stay up all night to watch the election returns as I usually do, or just go to bed early and hope I never wake up.
In any event, I know how I’m going to start my evening…
One thing I do know with absolute certainty…
These have been your Paying Attention Thoughts On Election Day Eve.
You're welcome.
What are your thoughts on Election Day Eve?
No comments:
Post a Comment