Nevertheless, She Existed

Laurrrrennn!

February 6, 2022

I think I may be in love with Lauren Boebert.

Spoiler Alert: No fucking way!

Oops. What I meant to say is I think Lauren Boebert is a brainless, narcissistic, pathetic, white-trash child who should be in a mental institution under constant supervision and heavy medication.

Either that or a member of the Ratpublican House caucus circus.

The Colorado cretin raised up on her hind legs and railed against the continued existence of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, for the record, on the House floor. “ATF. Alcohol, tobacco and firearms. In western Colorado, we call that a fun weekend. But D.C. bureaucrats have used this agency to infringe on the rights of the American people.”

Boebert also showed her world-class lack of smarts or humanity by adding, “Gun-free zones are the most dangerous places in our country.” Hmmm, I was thinking that was the space between your ears.

But Wait, There’s More...

Unconvinced that she had made her stunning assholery crystal clear, she persisted, “A recent report states that Americans own 46 percent of the world's guns. I think we need to get our numbers up, boys and girls.” Unfortunately, thanks to people like Boebert, Taylor (no-longer)Greene, McQarthy, Santos and their fellow unravelers, Americans own only 2 percent of the world’s brain power.

For the record, Americans make up around four percent of the world’s population, with more than 120 guns per 100 people. How’s that working out so far?

AR-15pinheads

Several GQP members of Congress were seen sporting AR-15 lapel pins.

GQP Rep. (and gun store owner) Andrew Clyde (R-GA) admitted

to being the supplier of these lapel pins of mass ignorance

And look, here’s the lying fuckwit calling himself George Santos (this week) -

seen here wondering why God made him such a worthless piece of shit -

desperately trying to make friends in Congress with his very own AR-15 pin

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled disbelief.