Sunday, March 24, 2024

Broken News - The Ticket To End All Tickets

Crass/Putin 2024 

March 24, 2024

Even if Putin can’t sneak $467 million past Trump’s court-appointed financial overseer to help Der Furor put up the bond for his doomed-to-fail appeal in the Getting-His-Fat-Ass-Handed-To-Him-By-Letitia-James New York civil fraud case, you know who Dumb Donald really wants his ruining mate to be.

Surely Donald wants his favorite person in the whole world – the man who is stronger and more powerful than all the rest, who runs his country with an iron fist (one much bigger than Trump’s baby hands), and who still has possession of the infamous “pee-pee tape” – none other than Russia, Russia, Russia’s Vladimir Putin, rumored to be the richest man in the world. This assumes of course that Trump even has time to campaign in between court appearances, and not having enough money to hold his Bund rallies.

Poor asshole.

Trump will continue to run despite being indicted on 88 counts (recently marked down from 91) in numerous jurisdictions because he needs to be president to avoid being a number – and I don’t mean as a secret agent man. And unfortunately, odds are he will live to see tomorrow.

Johnny Rivers – Secret Agent Man

And since his followers live in a world of “alternative facts,” Trump is able to wear his indictments as a crown of thorns. He will continue to run despite having to run (figuratively speaking) from courtroom to rally to courtroom to rally (assuming he can afford to hold any).

Trump shows up in court when there is no need for him to be there and blames the court for wasting his precious time. The only possible scenario – short of his untimely passing – (untimely in that it is long past time; had he passed away in 2015 it would have made things so much easier) that has even a chance of stopping Trump from running in 2024 is him ending up in solitary confinement - which after all, might be the only way for him to remain safe in prison. (Now that's about the happiest thought I've had in some time).

Once the Supreme Court finds that Trump has absolute immunity, he will not feel constrained by anything, so do not be surprised when he announces Putin as his running mate.

You can expect to hear the following statement from Trump shortly after the Court renders its entirely unconstitutional, anti-democratic decision.

“Just like I said I would have been able to run my business and be president at the same time, but was not allowed to because of some very stupid rules that I never should have followed – and frankly, I did not follow, because I know better – I have no doubt that the very strong and very powerful leader of the great nation of Russia will be able to continue his very excellent leadership there while serving as my vice president here. You will all be very proud of having such a great leader helping to tell me what to do. Believe me.”

Glowering Goons ‘r’ Us

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled court appearances.

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