Good News/Bad News*
March 6, 2024
Here’s a little twist on the old good news/bad news joke.
Me: I have good news and bad news. What would you
like to hear first, the good news or the bad news
You: Oh, I don’t know, why don’t you give me the bad
news first.
Me: Okay. The bad news is, we might not have to wait until the November 5, 2024 election to know if American democracy, imperfect though it may be, will be nuked into oblivion as a result of the election of Donald “Person-Woman-Man-Camera-TV” Trump becomes the 47th (and first full-on fascist) president of the United States.
You: What the fuck does that mean? Sorry, I normally
don’t use the word ‘fuck.’ Oh shit, I just said ‘fuck’ again. Aw, fuck it.
Me: It means that Mitch McConnell’s Extreme Court may
very soon rule that American presidents (or perhaps only American presidents
named Donald Trump) have absolute immunity from any and all prosecution – even
if they attempt to overthrow the American government, or perhaps stand in the
middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, or maybe piss on the Constitution
and then use it to wipe their ass, which I know, sounds incredibly disgusting,
but c’mon who are we kidding here with this Trump guy who has no shame, no
scruples, no respect for anything or anybody, including himself.
Just yesterday, the Court decided that, states’ rights be fucked, no
state can restrict even what the three non-reptiles on the Court called “oath-breaking insurrectionists” from appearing on the
ballot. Well, states cannot kick a certain oath-breaking insurrectionist off
their ballot. This would likely change should a Democrat be in a similar
situation. We. Are. Fucked.
And remember, this group with its massive 6-3 majority (featured
here recently as STEAL
Team Six) of radical, anti-democratic religious fanatics and scofflaws has
repeatedly run roughshod over what the majority of Americans want, despite the
fact that five of these six renegades-in-robes were appointed by presidents who did
not win the popular vote. They have repeatedly upended settled law – something those
in the majority insisted, during their nomination hearings, they would never do.
They have in the past fucked with voting rights, made dark money supreme in politics, and most
recently murdered Roe v. Wade. Now they are turning their attention to helping Donald
Trump get re-elected by any means necessary. Or so it clearly appears. We will
not know for sure just how far they are willing to go to protect Trump and fuck
democracy until they are fucking good any ready to let us know, as they
flagrantly slow-walk their decision on Trump’s claim of absolute presidential
immunity. Don’t be surprised if they pull a Bush v. Gore (which three of these
partisan slobs helped shove down America’s throat while acting as attorneys for
the loser of the 2000 election and worst president in American history, until
Trump came along – George WTF Bush) and make an obviously horrendous decision
and then claim that their ruling cannot be used as precedent in any other
future case. We have no reason to expect anything less disgraceful.
They have blithely fucked with the past and viciously fucked
with the future.
However, should the psycho-six rule that there is absolute presidential immunity and are not shameless enough to insist it only applies to their guy, then current-president Joe Biden should make good use of his newly-granted super powers and do whatever the fuck he wants. Checkmate.
You: Okay, enough, just give the damn good news
already; I can’t take this anymore. I’m feeling suicidal.
Me: You sure you’re ready for the good news?
You: Yes, I’m sure. I can’t take any more bad news.
Sock it to me.
Me: Alright, here it is – there ain’t no fucking good
news. What the fuck were you thinking? Wake up and smell the napalm.
Apologies for the long set-up. I hope you weren’t expecting
The Aristocrats.** Although, it’s not entirely dissimilar.
_____________________________________________________
*Inspired
by a much shorter, much funnier bit by Albert Brooks (pictured above) from A Star is Bought
Epilogue
Expand the fucking Supreme Court, repercussions
be damned, before it’s too late.
I. Mangrey, beside myself. But, not yet discorporated.
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