Day-One-Dictator-Don

We Are All Palisades Now

January 23, 2025

During his inauseation address, Day-One-Dictator-Don tried to convince the American people that he was ushering in “the golden age of America”. Never particularly adept at keeping words, thoughts or outrageous lies straight, he clearly meant that he was flushing America down a golden toilet.

He claimed, as always – even when he loses – that he had a landslide victory. Again, what he meant to say, or at least what is actually true, is that his victory was a massive skid-mark inside America’s underwear. The only landslide is the one where all of America crashes into the metaphorical oceans of oblivion as a result of Don’s political and economical douchebaggery.

On a lighter note, hundreds of thousands of brain-dead fuck-wits who bought tickets to the inauseation debacle…I mean, festivities ended up literally left out in the cold playing with themselves. The knuckle-dragging cretins traveled from across the country, and one assumes places like Russia, Hungary, Iran, Saudi Arabia and North Korea to revel in the fascist follies festooning America’s fall from freedom. But guess what. Day-One-Dictator-Don had the event moved indoors because he was afraid that 1) his “hair” and face paint might not withstand the cold (though it was colder, with a much, much larger crowd at Obama’s first inaugural), and 2) the crowd would be so small as to be a historic embarrassment, one that even Sean Spicer would not be able to lie into alternative reality. The latter became clear since there were countless vacancies in all local hotels.

No one expected Il Douche to wheel around and behead
Melania, but no one seemed very put off by it

But at least the frozen fascist-fanboys-and-girls were able to view the spectacle on Jumbotrons while succumbing to frostbite and morbid idiocy. Right? Guess again Kemosabe. The giant screens that would have been the only way these ripped-off-rubes could watch Don usher in his lame-fuck term to the tune of YMCA were removed before Don began his Death Dance. Maybe they nixed the Jumbotrons to dissuade the idiots from standing around and then dying from hypothermia. Yeah, sure.

Why didn’t they just storm the Capitol like they used to do? Where was the majestic MAGA Shaman to cast his spell and lead his people to victory? I’m sure Don will make it up to them by causing massive inflation, cutting off their health care (he already signed an executive order raising the prices on prescription drugs for seniors) and letting everything they own either burn up or get destroyed by massive storms and flooding in what historians will be calling the Trump Climate Disaster.

Don also promised to “drool, baby, drool” or something to that effect.

As has always been the case, and as will continue relentlessly for at least the next four years, Don thinks his idiot supporters are garbage, and he will be stepping, spitting and shitting all over them in order to make himself and his sugar daddies richer and richer. If you ask me, it’s deplorable.

I'm sure Day-One-Dictator Don is nowhere near finished with his dictatoring. That I can tell you.

I. Mangrey, hanging on by a thread.