Inauseation Day

American Carnage, The Squeal Sequel

January 20, 2025

As you may know, today convicted felon Donald Trump will once again be inaugurated as…well, you know. Perhaps you recall his Texas-Chainsaw-Massacre-esque “American Carnage” inauguration screech from 2017. Surely, this time Trump will show  ready to serve the needs of all Americans. And then the Sun will go supernova, and that will be that. 

This soiled diaper in an ill-fitting suit, with fake hair and a badly-dyed face is set to be leader (or something) of the free world. Again. Even worse, this is happening on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. Does this country suck or what?

You may also be aware that not everyone is exactly thrilled about seeing this hate and revenge-addled rapist, lifelong conman and convicted felon taking the oath of office, rendering it meaningless and putting our environment, our lives and our democracy in grave danger. I count myself among these. Some of the more important members of this group of notable non-attendees have decided not to show up at this sickening ceremony.

First, we learned that the wife of the man who disgraced himself by being sickeningly chummy with fascist fuckwit Trump at Jimmy Carter’s funeral, Michele Obama will not be degrading herself by attending the installation of America’s first fascist president. Next to decline shaming himself by aiding and abetting this crime against humanity was Rep. Jamie Raskin (D-MD).

More recently, a spokesperson for Nancy Pelosi said that the former Speaker will also have better things to do with her time; maybe it’s because Trump incessantly whined about Pelosi being “crooked”, “evil, sick, crazy” and called her “an enemy from within”. Trump’s hateful psychobabble inspired one of his favored “poorly educated” knuckle-draggers to show up at Pelosi’s house when she was elsewhere. So he beat her husband half to death with what one imagines was a Trump hammer (well, he’s selling every other fucking thing, why not hammers). Trump has repeatedly made fun of the horrific attack because he’s a sociopathic shit-weasel. On a good day. At least he never lead his cult in the “Lock her up!” chant. That comes after the inauguration.

Also on the no-show list will be ex-President Jimmy Carter, who plans on remaining dead for this somber yet horrifying transition of power.

I Won’t Show Up

In solidarity with these great patriots – real patriots, not the kind that are currently behind bars for being patriotic for Trump and traitors to democracy and America – no one here at Paying Attention™ will be sullying our reputations by accepting the invitations we never received. Don’t look for us there. I’ll tell you one thing though, as they swear Trump in, we will be right here swearing at.

Here’s where I’ll be all day, and for the foreseeable future

It might not matter since fElon* Murk, Jeff Beezoff, Tim Crook, Mark Fuckerberg and a host of giant winged lizards…I mean other power-hungry billionaire suck-ups** will probably be taking up all the good seats and most of the bad ones. Especially since it was announced that the inauguration will be moved indoors – limiting the number of seats to only the wealthiest of whackos – because of cold weather that might break Donald’s “hair” and cause his paint job to crack. Would this make him a crackhead? Probably doesn’t go well with all the Adderall he snorts and hair dye that’s oozing into his “brain”.

And now, how about a number. Feel free to sing along. Or just cry in your beer. You probably will know the tune from Peter Pan:

I Won't Show Up

[I. Mangrey]
I won't show up

[Staff]
I won't show up

[I. Mangrey]
I don't wanna watch him drool

[Staff]
I don't wanna watch him drool

[I. Mangrey]
As he fucks over this country

[Staff]
As he fucks over this country

[I. Mangrey]
He’s an orange, fascist fool

[Staff]
He’s an orange, fascist fool

[I. Mangrey]
If showing up means it would be
A total disrespect of history

[All]
I'll never show up
Never show up
Never show up

[I. Mangrey]
Not me

[Ed]
Not I

[I. Mangrey]
Fuck you

[Staff]
Fuck me

[I. Mangrey]
I won't show up

[Staff]
I won't show up

[I. Mangrey]
Unless I could watch him die

[Staff]
Unless I could watch him die

[I. Mangrey]
Or perhaps just keel over

[Staff]
Or perhaps just keel over

[I. Mangrey]
Or his face hit with a pie

[Staff]
Or his face hit with a pie

[I. Mangrey]
And if it means I must prepare
To watch a fascist-fuck with orange hair

[All]
I'll never show up
Never show up
Never show up

[I. Mangrey]
Not me

[Ed]
Not I

[Staff]
Fuck off

Public Service Announcement

If you do feel the need to watch today’s proceedings, we recommend doing so with your eyes closed and the sound off.

See you in Canada; I’m outta here

_____________________________________________
*Remember, you can’t spell felon without Elon.
**The number of whom pales in comparison to the bitch-slapable number about to comprise Trump’s cabinet.

I. Mangrey regurgitating.