Don’t Cry For Chrump, Puerto Rico

Bullets and Bullshit

October 4, 2017

The Second Amendment Strikes Again

Here we go again. Mass shooting. Crazy white guy with way too many guns, having his own private war without notifying his opponents. If only he had shot himself first. Not the right time to talk about gun control. How about climate change? Is now the right time to talk about that? Can we talk about racist gerrymandering?

Chrump read a prepared statement (not one word of which he either believed or understood), using prepared facial expressions and his practiced presidential demeanor in artificial response to the most recent worst mass shooting in American history. Tone-deaf as ever, he called the police response “in many ways a miracle”. I suppose we should be grateful he did not blame both sides. Chrump said of the shooter, a retired accountant turned real estate investor and millionaire with no history of mental illness, criminality or radicalism, “He was a sick man. A demented man, a lot of problems I guess. We are looking into him very seriously. We are dealing with a very, very sick individual.” Many people are saying that Chrump was referring to the shooter. We may never know for sure.

I am not sure who was more disgraceful and/or ignorant, Chrump or Republican’t senator John Thune (R-SD) who said, "I think people are going to have to take steps in their own lives to take precautions. To protect themselves. And in situations like that, you know, try to stay safe. As somebody said -- get small." That’s right folks, whenever you are be fired upon by a psycho with an automatic weapon from 32 floors up, make sure you act responsibly. Only you can prevent psychos firing.

This latest, almost-daily mass shooting happens just as Congress is taking the courageous initiative to pass legislation easing restrictions on gun silencers. Because everyone knows the real problem with guns is the horrible noise. It would have been so much better in Las Vegas if those people had been able to hear the concert more clearly while hundreds of their fellow concertgoers were falling dead and injured all around them.

More Big Winning, Chrump Style

Chrump has been whining about Puerto Rico’s debt. He finally got the chance to spit on them in person. Finally making his way to the island, which is surrounded by water, big water, our natural-disaster-in-chief continued his disgraceful attack on American citizens, “I hate to tell you, Puerto Rico, but you’ve thrown our budget a little out of whack, because we spent a lot of money on Puerto Rico, and that’s fine.”  Der Furor thinks and acts like he is still a failed businessman. He has yet to transition to realizing he is a failed “president”. Certain that he had not gone far enough into blind, tone-deaf, and dumbass territory, Chrump tried to belittle Puerto Ricans’ suffering by insisting that hurricane Katrina was a “real catastrophe” because there was a much larger death toll.

Chrump tosses paper towels at desperate Puerto Ricans.
You cannot see the $10 price tag from this angle.
That the towels are laced with smallpox is as yet unproven.

 

Tune in next time when we hear Der Furor say, “I think Puerto Rico made a huge mistake building an island surrounded by water. Big water. Ocean water. The United States isn’t surrounded by water. That’s why we don’t have budget problems like Puerto Rico or very horrible hurricanes. And nobody knew that hurricanes could be so windy. So much wind. I’m glad I wasn’t here when it happened, it might have seriously disrupted my hair. But don’t worry, I know many rich guys who will come down here and buy up this totally ruined island and build beautiful resorts and golf clubs and all of you will be invited to become members, or at least to look around, or maybe even do some landscaping. I know you people are very good at that sort of thing. You’re welcome.”  

I. Mangrey reporting.