Chrump’s Super Duper, Ever Changing Liquid Wall

It’s Really a Gas

January 11, 2019

You would not be faulted for having a difficult time keeping up with Chrump’s ever changing, magical mystery “wall.”  It will be beautiful concrete.  It will be steel slats.  It will be a hologram.  It will be made of moon cheese.  Or maybe phlogiston. 

It will be a 30-foot high wall.  It will be electrified fencing.  It will be a barrier of some sort.  It will be made out of whatever passes for Chrump’s hair.  If you believe hard enough, it will keep all the Mexican criminals and rapists (all six of them apparently) from flooding into our country.  It will be a vague idea.  It will be a Schrödinger’s* wall – both there and not there at the same time. 

This wall or fence or barricade or giant shower curtain will cost $4 or $5B…or $6B…or $7B…or $8B…or $10 to $12B or $18B…or $25B. (all numbers Der Furor has provided, in chronological order, by the way)

Mexico will pay for the wall.  “It's an easy decision for Mexico: make a one-time payment of $5-10 billion to ensure that $24 billion continues to flow into their country year after year.” (March 2016)  “They’ll pay, in one form or another. They may even write us a check when it’s said and done.” (April 13, 2016)  “When I said Mexico would pay for the wall in front of thousands and thousands of people... obviously I never meant Mexico would write a check.” “When I say Mexico is going to pay for the wall, do you think they’re going to write a check for $20B or $10B or $5B or two cents? No.” (January 10, 2019) Eventually, you will be convinced that it looks like Mexico paid for the wall in some way or other.  Or not.

You’ll want to suck down every last drop.
You might as well, you’re paying for it.

This is a real clip from a real show in 1958

Speaking of real video, you’ll never guess who said this: “Never, ever give up.  Don’t give up.  Don’t allow it to happen.  If there’s a concrete wall in front of you, go through it, go over it, go around it.  But, get to the other side of that wall.” 

Donald J. Trump, Professional Idiot - May 21, 2004

Oopsie

Fun fact: it turns out Chrump’s very, very large, very beautiful, see-through steel slats are no match for a power saw.  You cannot even cut Chrump’s “hair” with a power saw, at least not without serious risk of injury.

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*Schrödinger's cat is a thought experiment, sometimes described as a paradox, devised by Austrian physicist Erwin Schrödinger in 1935.  The scenario presents a cat that may be simultaneously both alive and dead, a state known as a quantum superposition.

I. Mangrey reporting and not reporting.