Russian Around Like a Turkey With Its Head Cut Off

Impeachment Hangs in The Air Like a Snowpocalypse

January 17, 2019

Let the record show that he was, in fact, a lying fucking crook.

As you, unless you are in a coma – voluntarily or otherwise – probably know, new stories have emerged about the FBI’s counterintelligence investigation into whether or not Donald J. Chrump was working on behalf of Vladimir Putin during and after his presidential campaign.  You are likely asking yourself – and anyone within earshot, “Whatever, who the hell doesn’t already know that?”  The Idiot King practically demanded he be investigated when he told Lester Holt – on national television – in May of 2017, that after talking to himself about himself, he decided to fire James Comey because of “that Russia thing.”  There have been countless other reasons to investigate Chrump’s subservience to Russia of course, but that one is pretty tough to beat, as far as irrefutable evidence.  To Chrump’s credit, he is working diligently on it.  This seems to be the only thing he is actually working on.  Many people are hoping his hard work pays off.

Chrump is also working extremely hard to advance Russian interests now that he is in the White House, while simultaneously seeing to it that the American government remains shut down for no good reason.  Only Republican’ts are hoping this hard work pays off.  After all, they have been trying to stop our government from working for decades.

The day after what many are calling a “bombshell” (fingers crossed) report in the New York Times, Chrump the Cowardly Liar scurried to his happy place at Fux News. Fux host/lunatic Jeanine Pirro, presumably planning to toss her fellow lunatic Donald Chrump the softest of softball questions, croaked, “I’m going to ask you, are you now or have you ever worked for Russia, Mr. President?”  Chrump went on a tirade covering much ground, but not including the one-word answer Pirro was likely expecting – NO.  Chrump offered up his usual smorgasbord of crazy talk, but never said NO.  He attacked Comey, the press, the FBI, Mueller, Santa Claus and the Milky Way, but he never uttered the word NO. 

At least he is not a crook…just kidding…totally kidding.

Two days after the Pirro fiasco, after everyone in the world, with the exception of Fux News, expressed absolute shock that Putin’s Plant, the man who lies more than he breathes – and much more easily – could not manage to clearly, succinctly deny working for Russia, Chrump finally lied publicly from the White House lawn, “I never worked for Russia.  Not only did I never work for Russia, I think it’s a disgrace that you even asked that question because it’s a whole big, fat hoax.”  One assumes he was responding to his own reflection when he uttered the words “big, fat hoax.”

This guy.

Nothing* is More Counter-intelligent Than Chrump  

Given these latest revelations, many people are wondering why Trump went out of his way to ensure that no records of his meetings with Russian President Vladimir Putin exist?   Odds are he ate them, which he has been known to do to destroy evidence.  And why he gave classified information to Russians in the Oval Office? And if he has serious, significant, irreversible brain damage?

I have a very, very large uh-brain.

Trump went to extraordinary lengths to conceal his conversations with Putin.  On at least one occasion he confiscated the notes of his own interpreter (the only non-Russian permitted to attend the meeting – Huh?) with instructions (threats?) not to discuss what they had witnessed, not even with other administration officials.  Clearly, nothing suspicious going on.  Fortunately for Chrump, the Kremlin is there to back him up.  On Wednesday, top Russian officials dismissed allegations that Chrump could have worked for Moscow’s interests, as “absurd” and “stupid.”  But were they talking about the allegations or about Chrump himself?  We may never know.

Russia, if you’re listening, I hope you’re able to find the meeting transcripts that are missing.  I think you will probably be rewarded mightily by our press.

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*Grammarians would insist this should be “No one”, but I must respectfully disagree.  That would imply sentience.

I. Mangrey reveling.  Lock him up, lock him up, lock him up.  And do it on TV.