He Is the Egg Man

Chrumpty Dumpty Redux

January 8, 2019

The very low IQ Donald Chrump continues his desperate attempt to figure out how he can safely cave on his promise of a big, beautiful concrete wall that, according to Der Furor, “maybe someday they’re gonna call it the Chrump Wall.  Maybe.”  A wall that most Americans – even more than the number who never wanted Chrump, let alone his fake wall – do not want.  A wall that most experts say is unnecessary.  Now he is yammering about steel slats.  One would be excused for thinking that Donny just likes the sound of the word steel, since that is how he made most of his money.  One might also be excused for thinking that he is unaware that there are two words that sound the same, but are spelled differently. 

The best* part is, the whole wall idea came from Chrump’s babysitters.  It was clear early on that the Orange Gas Cloud was simply too stupid to remember what he was supposed to talk about.  They came up with the idea of the word “wall” to help him remember to talk about stopping immigrants – like his grandfather and some of his wives, one of whom very likely entered this country illegally.  Hey, remember when candidate Chrump promised to provide documentation explaining exactly how Melanie – or whatever her name is – entered the United States?  Never happened.  Maybe she is under some sort of mythical audit and cannot release such sensitive information.

Chrump’s advisors knew that their boy wonder loved to brag about what a great builder he was.  They, as he, were willing to ignore the fact that he rarely bothered to pay the actual builders once he got his name plastered on the shell of each of his crappy, made-in-China edifices.  

One week after Chrump’s American Carnage inauguration, Chrump tried to threaten then-Mexican president Enrique Peña Nieto over the one idea Chrump was able to remember from his horrendous campaign.  His, as former Mexican President Vicente Fox called it, “fucking wall.”  Chrump told Peña Nieto, “From an economic issue, it is the least important thing we were talking about.  Psychologically, it means something.”  Chrump added, “The fact is we are both in a little bit of a political bind, because I have to have Mexico pay for the wall – I have to.  If you are going to say that Mexico is not going to pay for the wall, then I do not want to meet with you guys anymore because I cannot live with that.”

That was then, this is now.  Chrump is still fixated on this one thing. 

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*Best, as in horribly tragic, depressing and pathetic. 

Chrumpty Dumpty wanted a wall,
Chrumpty Dumpty didn’t really want a wall, he just wanted to win over the racist Tea Party wing of the hateful Republican’t party, after all

All the king’s assholes, most of them men -  
white men who hate poor people, women, non-white men and democracy,
will never come close to making America great again.

Chrumpty Dumpty says, “Build the Wall. And who’s gonna pay for it? Nobody. Once the wall is built I will just tell them they did a lousy job and not pay them. It works every time, except when I settle, which I never do, except most of the time.”

I. Mangrey waiting for the Orange Gas Cloud to spew from the Oval Office.  Feh.