"Happy" Earth Day!

We Are The Egg Men

Earth First!
April 22, 2017

The Chrumpocene

The geologic time scale is broken up into ages, eras, periods and such. From the Cenozoic up through the Precambrian age. The most recent 11,700 year epoch has been dubbed the Holocene. The most recent period, comprising more significant human impacts on the global environment is known as the Anthropocene. Future paleontologists (probably some form of human-cockroach hybrid) will one day find a very thin layer consisting of the time between mid-2015 and the end of what will be known as the Chrumpian sub-Epoch. These scientists will discover a peculiar, very thin layer that will distinguish itself from the older layers by the unmistakable presence of a degree of stupidity (and some kind of strange orange pigment) previously unseen. They will be able to discern this layer with shock and awe as they realize that the level of ignorance and destruction was completely avoidable. Turns out, there is an app (an equation actually) for that.

The Anthropocene Equation is a formula created by Will Steffen, a climate research professor at the Australian National University, and Owen Gaffney, a science journalist and communications consultant at the sustainability research firm Future Earth. Their formula, recently published in The Anthropocene Review, shows that human activity is altering the environment 170 times faster than under normal circumstances.

Chrumpty Dumpty

 

I got this Earth thing under control.

Chrumpty Dumpty shat on Earth
Chrumpty Dumpty did it with mirth

All the king’s assholes and all the king’s clowns
Can’t stop Chrumpty from burning it down

The Koch Brothers are celebrating fossil fuels today. Isn’t that special.

I. Mangrey reporting. No Compromise in defense of Mother Earth.