Wag the Chrump

Wag the Dick

Right behind you
April 11, 2017

Does anyone else find it sad that presidents who are floundering or failing or under investigation for conspiring with one of our oldest and most despised enemies – to rig an election the candidate in question assured us was rigged, for many months – suddenly gets a pass because he ordered a bombing? Americans love to see their presidents wave their peckers around. Nothing says success like gratuitous man wagging. It is even more effective when his tiny hands make everything else look so much bigger. It really is way past time for a vagina to run the White House. Not someone who just grabs them because he is famous. Please?

George W. Bush was mostly on vacation, clearing brush, and/or ignoring Presidential Daily Briefings during his first 100 days in office – after losing the popular vote and winning the Electoral College (Sound familiar?) only after the Supreme Court stopped Florida’s recount. Then the horrific attack on 9/11 happened, and something that any president with a beating heart would have done catapulted Bush from hapless do-nothing to instant president/hero. He stood on the pile of rubble at Ground Zero and aimed his megaphone at the attackers and their fellow travelers. What followed is beyond the scope of the present discussion. Suffice it to say that going on the attack made Bush seem very different than what we had experienced up until that point.

WTD

The movie 1997Wag the Dog portrays a president in need of something to change the narrative of his presidency. I do not remember exactly what issue the fictitious movie president was trying to circumvent. I doubt his situation was as bad as say, leading an administration riddled with ineptitude, racism and innumerable ties with a foreign entity – a decades-long enemy foreign power – the latter being the focus of a massive, multi-branch investigation. Like our fictitious reality TV president.

Our current “president”, when he is not golfing, tweeting, desperately trying to ban Muslims from entering our country, watching Fox and Friends, defending fellow sexual assaulter Bill O’Lielly, lying about just about everything under the Sun, attacking the press, the intelligence community (he thinks it just means they are a bunch of really smart people, which frightens him) or wandering around the White House (when he is not in Florida) in his bathrobe– who also lost the popular vote – spends most of his time bragging about his implausible Electoral College victory and accusing his predecessor of wiretapping him. Oh, and did I mention lying? I did not and no one can prove otherwise.

What about Syria?

 

One of the movie’s characters warned, “We can’t have a war,” but was assured by another, “We're not gonna have a war, we're gonna have the appearance of a war.” Kind of like Chrump does not really have hair, he has the appearance of hair. Barely. Nobody really knows what we are doing in Syria at this point, other than distracting everyone from the disaster that is the Chrump administration.

Chrump claimed he was deeply touched by seeing refugee children murdered by Assad’s chemical weapons (something that has happened many times, but never seemed to bother The Don before), This time he decided his best move was to be outraged saying, “No child of God should ever suffer such horror.” Many previous critics were in turn touched by Chrump’s seeming emotional response, and impressed by his decisive, presidentialesque action in “retaliation”. I have seen no reason to believe a single word uttered by this ne’er-do-well.

I did not, apparently with good reason, believe Chrump when he said – over a year ago – that he had a plan to eliminate ISIS “very quickly”, or when he said that he would release his tax returns at “the appropriate time”. I will forego the dirty-laundry list of other such examples. I did however believe him when he talked about how he enjoyed forcing himself physically on women because he could not help himself.

Chrump was against bombing Syria before he was for
it, before he was against it again and then for it again.

 

While claiming he is someone who cares deeply about the children, Chrump is cavalierly and ignominiously signing death warrants on thousands of refugee children and others by banning them from our country, while simultaneously shaming other countries for taking them in as well. Chrump is also more than willing to put countless American children and others at risk of a much slower death thanks to the elimination of programs and services critical to keeping them healthy and/or alive. Disingenuousnous thy name is Chrump. Chrump does not need weapons of mass destruction. He is more comfortable using legislation of mass destruction.

Wag the Dumb

The idiot president’s idiot spokesmoron gave us one of his best lines ever. In trying to explain/rationalize/defend/obfuscate the Assad chemical weapon deployment/Chrump absurd response scenario, Melissa McCarthy stand-in Spicerack decided not to bother engaging his brain before spouting, “You had a – someone as despicable as Hitler, who didn't even sink to using chemical weapons." He tried to explain what he meant. It did not go well. Apparently the Spiceman thinks using planes to deliver chemical weapons is worse than doing it via gas chambers. Who knew? Generous sort that I am, I assume his brain was in the shop for repairs. The Anne Frank Center for Mutual Respect called for Spicerack to be fired "at once". Works for me.

I. Mangrey reporting.