April 15, 2017
“The most beautiful (not Photoshopped) piece of chocolate cake
that you’ve ever seen,” according to Chrump
that you’ve ever seen,” according to Chrump
The chocolate cake served at Chrump’s rat-infested resort
while Chrump informed China’s President Xi Jinping he had just ordered the
military to drop “59 cruise missiles on Iraq”. That is not a typo. That is
exactly what Hair Chrump told a reporter two days later. She had to ask if he
meant Syria and he apparently did. Just days before Chrump dragged Japan’s PM
Abe to his Florida love nest, inspectors found 13 health code violations (a
record for an institution that charges $200,000 in initiation fees) at the
Mor-on-Lago’s kitchen. Three of the violations were deemed “high priority,”
meaning that there is a risk of serving food that could cause illness. Chrump
responded, “The crooked inspectors were hired by Obama to make me look bad. Did
any of you know that you have to refrigerate fish and meat? Nobody knows this.
Turns out it can keep people from getting very sick. I will have to think about
that very, very carefully. As it stands, we have the best e-coli of, I would
say, anyone. And the most of any over-priced club in America, that I can tell you.
Did you know that it used to cost only $100,000 to join before I was elected?
Since my victory was so huge, many, many people demanded that the fee be
doubled. It wasn’t my idea. I would never cash in on being president. Everybody
knows that.”
I. Mangrey reporting.
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