Gall in The Family

More Fun Than a Barrel Full of Chrumpies

Chrumpworld
April 26, 2017

Ivanka has now been let loose upon the world stage, not as a vapid fashion designer or daddy’s little girl(friend), but as an un-vetted, untrained, un-competent representative of the Chrumpy States of Amerika. First stop – Germany, where whatever-the-hell-she-is joined a Women’s Forum panel. There was audible groaning, hissing and booing during a discussion on paid leave when Ivanka offered up this delusional gem, “He's been a tremendous champion of supporting families and enabling them to thrive."

Next came this from the panel’s moderator, “Some attitudes towards women that your father has publicly displayed in former times might leave one questioning whether he is such an empower-er for women. How do you relate to that? Are things changing? What’s your comment on that?” Daddy’s little enabler replied, “I’ve certainly heard the criticism from the media, and, that’s been perpetuated…” The media? Does that mean you never heard him say, “If she wasn’t my daughter perhaps I’d be dating her,” while you were sitting right next to him? Does that mean you didn’t see the video that featured his voice talking about how he gets away with grabbing women “by the pussy”? Did you miss all that? Damned media.

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

When asked by an interviewer about her role as “accomplice” to her father, Ivanka responded, “Well, I don’t like the intonation of that, which, you know, assumes that, I think, you know, I don’t like the word accomplice, because, you know, in this context, I don’t know that that’s productive.” She also said that her father “curates ideas and he likes to hear from people with divergent viewpoints,” adding, “That’s not always true in politics. That’s actually seldom true.” Seldom true? Really? You know, like, I mean, you know, like how the fuck do you, like, you know, know about was is and is not seldom, like, true in, like, politics. Just because your father, who loves you, you know, like, way too much, and not in the way a father is supposed to love a daughter, suddenly ends up in the White House (two, three, some people are saying sometimes even four days a week), and you somehow got a job working for him, like a week ago, how do you even begin to act like you have the slightest clue? Did you see it on Fux News? Or did you pull it out of your dear father’s ass while he was grabbing yours? Inquiring minds want to know. I do not.

“You’re lucky we’re on TV right now.”

Is there nothing we can do to change the channel on this surreality show? I wish Don and Ivanka would just ride off into the sunset and get a room already. They deserve each other, so why can’t people like Jared just get out of the way?

And who will stand up for poor little Ivanka (Spoiler alert: It will not be me.) now that it has been revealed that her clothing line is made by $1/hr Chinese laborers working where, “inspectors with the Fair Labor Association...found two dozen violations of international labor standards during a two-day tour of the factory in October.” At least she is not having American workers treated like slaves. I wonder how things are holding up in the Chinese sweat shops where Daddy Don has all of his things made. I can hear the excuses, "We can't continue to allow China to rape our country, and that's what they're doing.* This is about me and Ivanka showing China who’s boss. We’ll show them who’s raping who. Right Ivanka?"

I. Mangrey reporting. Are you moaning with me or at me?                                                      

*actual quote, May 1, 2016