Burnin' Down The House

Is It Hot in Here, Or Is the Fucking Planet On Fire

August 26, 2019

When autocrats speak, significant numbers of people listen.  Some number of those act on what they hear, and it is anything but hilarity that ensues.  All of the most brutal, murderous dictators in history had loyal, sizeable followings.

America has birthed her own dictator; he is not yet brutal or murderous, just moronic, greedy, narcissistic and insufferable.  When Donald Chrump speaks, armed white nationalists listen.  Sometimes they go and shoot up a bunch of innocent people.  Sometimes they target certain people that Chrump constantly denigrates – to put it nicely.  Fortunately, there was someone around to convince him (and it was no easy task) that setting off a nuclear weapon inside a hurricane to stop the hurricane was not a good idea.  Apparently, Chrump has brought this up more than once.

Chrump explaining how to stop hurricanes and windmills with nuclear weapons.

When Brazil’s Bolsonaro (which I believe is Brazilian for Chrump) speaks, farmers set fire to the Amazon forest – our planet’s “lungs” – because their deranged leader decreed that the forest is in the way of profits – specifically, growing soy beans to feed to cows.  Fires are fairly common in this part of the world, but fires in the Amazon are up 77 percent since last year.  It is much less common to have 48 lightning strikes over the Arctic Circle and massive fires in Siberia…oh yeah, and in Greenland, the Canary Islands and Alaska.

At least Brazilians have relegated their madman to an under-30 percent approval rating, unlike their American counterparts, who still rate Chrump in the 40s.  This, despite the fact that Chrump continues his war on the reality of the ongoing climate crisis.  SAD.

The Chinese are really playing this whole climate hoax thing to the hilt.  Fortunately, our mayonnaise-brained leader, whose election victory was a Russian hoax, is still having none of it.  He knows a hoax when he thinks he sees one.  A big reason Chrump was throwing one of his countless hissy-fits – this time about having to attend the G-7 summit – is that there is too much talk about the environment. 

Someone was able to talk him into going, probably by promising to Tivo Fux and Friends and the rest of the reality-challenged Fux line-up so he could watch all of it when he got home.

While at the G-7, Brainless Leader skipped out on the Climate Crisis meeting so he could tweet some more insane bullshit.  Reporters were told that Chrump instead was busy in bilateral meetings with Angela Merkel and Narendra Modi, both of whom, oddly enough, were at the very meeting Chrump was definitely not at.

Der Furor was again asked if he believed there was a climate crisis.  Naturally, he replied with psychotic lies and raving idiocy we have come to expect.  “In a nutshell, I want the cleanest water on earth. I want the cleanest air on earth.  I’m an environmentalist. A lot of people don’t understand that. I’ve done more environmental impact statements ... than anybody that’s ever been president or vice president or anything even close to president.”

We’ll meet again, don't know where, don't know when

I. Mangrey reporting. 

BONUS BONUS

Karl Wallinger/World Party