Not Dicking Around - Resignation Days 2019

Holiday Greetings from Everyone at Paying Attention

 

Kicking Dick Nixon Around Once More 

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!
August 7, 2019

From the Editor

Goooooood morning, Vietnam…I mean America.  It’s me, Ed Venture.  As managing editor here at Paying Attention, it is my job at this time of year to remind you of our admittedly overzealous obsession with Richard Milhous Nixon, and to keep the Resignation Day(s) tradition alive.  As most of you are probably unaware, today is Erev Resignation Day(s) (or Resignation Day(s) Eve, depending on how you roll).  On the evening of August 8, 1974, crook, felon, anti-Semite, anti-First Amendment, Liberal-hating, secret-bomber, paranoiac, all-around uncommitted mental patient, increasingly alcohol-infused and then-president Richard M. Nixon, announced that he would be resigning as president after serving half of his second term in the People's House in order to avoid a term in the Big House.  He made it official the following day.  

On the evening of August 8, 1974, a ragtag file of concert-goers who would eventually become the staff at Paying Attention, joined a packed house at the Temple Ambler Music Fair to enjoy the great Bonnie Raitt.  At one point, Bonnie stopped the show to announce that Richard Nixon had announced that he was going to resign the presidency, and broke into Auld Lang Syne, before returning to her regularly scheduled setlist.  Thousands of people were dancing in the streets.  Some celebrated by smoking marijuana from a bong fashioned to look like Dick Nixon.  This cannot be verified and was, of course, illegal.  That is, unless the president did it.

Today we have a new mental patient pooping in the presidential sandbox.  You may have heard about this already.  I won’t go into all that right now.  The more things change, the more they stay the strange.  Anyway, Resignation Day(s) is one of my favorite American holidays.  August 8-9, 1974 was a great day for democracy and as close as we get to a great day for justice in this country. 

A young I. Mangrey in his Resignation Day(s) finery

I came across a photo of I. Mangrey (above) sporting one of his prized t-shirts to commemorate this festive time of year.  He and it are a bit more wrinkled today, but the message is timeless. 

Chrump would have called Woodward and Bernstein “fake news”.  And as it turned out, Deep Throat was FBI Associate Director Mark Felt.  Sure, Felt might have acted out of selfish motives, but he took down a dangerous, demented criminal.  Sometimes you take what you can get.  Like now, for instance.  Where is our Deep Throat? 

While impeaching Nixon seems to be off the table at this point, we have a tremendously – some would say the most – impeachable prezident right under our noses, wedged inside our ears, and poking our eyes like long steel needles.  If it was good enough for Nixon, it is certainly good enough for this guy:

This fucking guy

“I have never been a quitter,” began Nixon during prime time on August 8, 1974, “To leave office before my term is completed is opposed to every instinct in my body…Therefore, I shall resign the Presidency effective at noon tomorrow.  Vice President Ford will be sworn in as President at that hour in this office.” Gerald Ford, Nixon’s hand-picked pardoner/successor took the oaf of office on August 9, 1974 capping off America’s only two-day national holiday.  I still remember it well, to the best of my recollection. 
Wishing you and yours all the best during this brief, fun-filled 45th anniversary of the finally-not-having-Dick-Nixon-to-kick-around-anymore holiday season.
With our current brush with impeachment – perhaps the most serious flirtation since Ken Starr’s ill-conceived hunt for Bill Clinton’s sperm trail – we have mountains of evidence of collusion, obstruction, racism and mental defectiveness that any impeachment-curious citizen could ever imagine.  More than enough to inspire a few new verses to the old favorite – ‘Twas The Night Before Resignation.  We will bring those to you on Day Two.  In the meantime, enjoy the original today, and the recent verses additions tomorrow.
Ed Venture
Managing Editor, Paying Attention

As preamble to the consternation, and in accordance with Paying Attention’s by-laws and traditions, we now present in its entirety, the original Resignation Day(s) drollery…

In 2006 I stumbled across a bit of this very old, well-know verse that I thought would be fun to share with everyone at this special time of year.  It’s an age-old seasonal ditty and this being the eve of my favorite American holiday and all.  I’m not sure I remembered all of the words correctly but I’ve rendered them to the best of my recollection, though I may have been overzealous and inadvertently added a few verses that didn’t exist at all.  But, it’s full of holiday magic and joy – a favorite of children and adults throughout the ages, so read it to your children and grandchildren to keep this great American tradition alive.  And so, I offer you this special phrase, to kids from one to ninety-two; and though it's been said, many times, many ways - Happy Resignation Day(s), Happy Resignation Day(s), Happy Resignation Daaaaay(s) to you.  Now without further ado, in honor of August 8-9, 1974, a moment in history, which our Founders would surely have savoured, I bring you…

‘Twas the night before Resignation

‘Twas the night before Resignation, when all through the house
Richard Nixon was cornered, like a trapped diseased mouse.
His burglars had screwed it tho they burgled with care,
His cover-up in ruins, soon the end would be there.

The Congress were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of impeachment danced in their heads.
Sam Irvin with his gavel, exposed all the crap,
And roused our democracy from a long winter’s nap.

So all o’er the land there arose such a clatter,
Even the public could see what was the matter.
And there it was every day on TV like a flash,
Then everyone knew the president was trash.

It was hard to imagine this crook being regal
Tho he said, “If the president does it then it is not illegal.”
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But his lies all exposed and the end of his career.

A great day for democracy, it happened so quick,
What could be worse than that horrid old Dick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And all those were sentenced and each one by name!

"Now Haldeman! now, Erlichman! now, Mitchell and Dean!
On, Colson! On, Liddy!, oh my what a scene!
They all came a tumbling from the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

‘Tis the eve of impeachment –Oh please just once more
So much fun to be had, who knows what’s in store,
This appointed dry-drunk liar with his head up his butt.
Must be ripped from the Peoples’ House and his prison door shut.

Yes we did it one time not so long ago
Said it couldn’t be done, well how could we know.
Who knows what can happen when clear thinking rules,
Maybe we can get rid of this new batch of fools.

A long train of abuses and usurpations once again stains us all,
By Constitution, our right and our duty - this Despot must fall.
Again let’s take back our nation from thieves,
Then lock them away and dispose of the keys.

It’s that time of the season, to excise George the king,
The land of the free and that sort of thing.
And I say to you all, Power To The People, Out Of Sight,
More Impeachment to all, and to all a good-night!

Enjoy Resignation Day(s) 2019.  Drink up – you know old Tricky Dick would.  Panic responsibly.  Tune in tomorrow for more fun-filled festivities.  Impeachment is once again in the air.

“The Dick is out but we’re still getting fucked.” sg, August 9, 1974

All the best from everyone here at Paying Attention.