May 8, 2020
Donald Chrump took an oath to “faithfully execute the Office
of President of the United States.”
Reporter: Mr. Chrump, you took an oath to faithfully execute
the Office of President of the United States.
Chrump: The Office of President? I thought it was to faithfully execute the
country. But I don’t do anything
faithfully. That I can tell you. Have I told you about how bad the toilets and
showers are? They should be executed
too. Anyway, with the help of McConnell
and my great lawyers, I am executing the Office of President. It should be dead any minute now.
Chrump salutes victims of COVID-19
-------------------
Chrump vs. Coronavirus – May The Best Germ Win
Chrump’s coronavirus task farce requested recommendations
from the CDC to help minimize the further spread of the virus during the
attempt to re-open the country. Unsurprisingly,
the Chrump administration will be completely ignoring the 17-page draft
recommendation for reopening America. Brace
yourselves for a soul-crushing reboot of massive fatalities in the coming weeks,
brought to you by President Death, Donald Chrump. Meanwhile, Chrump has taken to describing
citizens as “warriors” in the battle against the pandemic, suggesting some might
have to die if that will help boost the economy, that is, boost his chances for
re-election. And keep your fingers crossed now that Chrump’s
personal valet has tested positive for COVID-19.
UDUMASS
William Barr vs. Justice
Michael Flynn twice pleaded guilty to lying.
He was also
found to be working as an unregistered foreign agent against the interests of
the United States while advising then-candidate Donald Chrump (also working
against the interests of the United States).
At the time of Flynn’s trial, Chrump said, “I
had to fire General Flynn because he lied to the vice president and the FBI.”
During his trial, the judge asked Chrump’s
National Security Advisor Michael Flynn if he was guilty of lying to the FBI
and Flynn responded, “Yes, your honor.” So, now that he is claiming that he is
not in fact guilty of the crime he pleaded guilty to, I guess we can add
perjury to the list of Flynn’s offenses.
“Democracy?
Justice? Never heard of ‘em.”
Some are calling this a “black day
for the Department of Justice.” In the
Chrump era it is simply a day ending in “y.”
This is also nothing new for Bill Barr, who has made a career of
protecting top government officials from justice. Barr’s first stint as Attorney General
included absolving the Iran-Contra criminals of their crimes against the people
and the laws of the United States. Just
another day at (abusing) the office for Bill Barr, enemy of democracy, brought
in to hijack justice for the most criminal administration in American
history. For once, Chrump has actually
found the best man for the job.
I. Mangrey
reporting. This hurts me more than it
hurts you.
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