May 1, 2020
What with all this fake virus hoax with all its soon-to-be 65,000 fake dead Americans and soon-to-be 250,000 fake dead people across the globe, and all the staying at home, wearing masks in public and fake footage of empty streets in Manhattan, Las Vegas, Los Angeles and major cities all over the world, International Workers Day - Mayday - is even more forgotten than usual, especially in the United States. Since the staff at Paying Attention is wallowing in fake survival mode, trying desperately not to be taken in by this scamdemic, we are nonetheless unable to muster up the energy to pay proper tribute to all the world's workers, most of whom are busy not working today in tribute to the fake virus hoax the entire world is engaged in for the sole purpose of ridding the world of Donald Chrump's fake presidency. In fairness, who could blame them. Chrump makes any would-be deadly pandemic feel like a tropical breeze in paradise. In any event, please enjoy this fake blog post from last year and don't forget to tip your
The First Day of May Not
May 1, 2019
May Day, with its long-standing tradition of honoring
workers around the world, is all but ignored by most of America. The 2016
election saw Donald Chrump’s fake message of support for workers, Social
Security, Medicare, the middle class and the Constitution resonate with and
dupe many workers across the country – mostly white ones, but nonetheless
enough to plunge our nation into Chrump’s Carnage Presidency. In honor of May
Day, Hair Chrump, thought it would be a good time to display his undying
solidarity with workers…I mean dictators the world over. Here is his statement:
“Beginning right now and from this day forward I, Donald J.
Chrump – the greatest president in American history – by presidential decree,
declare that there will no longer be a May 1st. That date has been
contaminated by fake political nonsense. So-called May Day is a disaster. An
absolute and a total disaster. Workers can celebrate if they want to, but it
must be in private, and on their own time from now on. No more of this prancing
around trying to get attention. Or better pay, or working conditions or less
harassment from their bosses. How greedy can you get? Workers are making too
much money and raping rich people everywhere. I say enough already. I decree
that today will now be known as April 31st. Tomorrow will still be May 2nd.
No more May 1st. I only wish April originally had 31 days, then I
would have been able to make April the only month with 32 days. That would have
been great. And when you’re president, they let you do anything, grab ‘em by
the calendar, or the whatever. Also, if I had been around during the Civil War
maybe I would have figured out why it happened. I alone could have fixed it.
It’s what I do. I fix things. I’m a fixer, believe me.” Chrump has said,
“There's no reason for this. People don't realize, ya know, the Civil War — if
you think about it, why? People don't ask that question, but why was there a
Civil War? Why could that one not have been worked out?”*
Yeah, what the hell was all that Civil War stuff about
anyway? No one really knows for sure. Can we have a do-over? I heard it had something
to do with snakes’ rights or something like that. Or maybe it had something to
do with workers in America. If only there was a way to find out why we had a
Civil War. I think many people would like to know, and some of them are very
fine people. But really, why didn’t the great (according to Chrump) Andrew Jackson
and the other founding fathers take care of that Civil War nonsense. Maybe next
time they will get it right.
Here’s hoping.
I. Mangrey reporting. Mayday, mayday.
*non-alternative
quote
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