Wake Up And Smell The COVID

Masks? We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Masks

May 10, 2020

Dr. Rick Bright is the former director of the Biomedical Advanced Research and Development Authority.  Bright is a PhD immunologist who lead the authority from 2016 to 2020, was recently fired for blowing the whistle on Chrump’s insane mishandling of the COVID-19 pandemic from day one and continuing unabated to this day.  Bright’s whistleblower complaint revealed that Michael Bowen, head of a Ft. Worth-based company – the only major domestic company making masks – wrote to Health and Human Services on January 23, two days after the U.S. confirmed its first case of Covid-19.  Bowen was already busy making masks for countries all over the world because of fears they might be desperately needed and wanted to also supply his home country.  HHS essentially told Bowen to take a hike.  Bowen then wrote to Bright saying, “U.S. mask supply is at imminent risk. Rick, I think we’re in deep shit.”

I guess Chrump thought he could get away with a few tens of thousands of deaths - just like he could shoot somebody and not lose any votes.  We should be inundated with reports about how America’s horrific performance during this pandemic would have been infinitely less deadly but for the alternative leadership of Donald “Let-The-Hoax-Virus-Wash-Over-Us-And-Drink-Some-Disinfectant” Chrump.  It seems though that he did not count on all those needless deaths he is personally responsible for causing an economic meltdown, oh well, win some lose some.  If this performance is not enough to make Chrump – who is inarguably the worst president in American history – a one-term president, many Americans will be looking to the coronavirus for help.

The Most Ignorant Man in The World:
He doesn’t always drink beer, but he’s always an idiot

Speaking of the coronavirus, the latest hot spot, where all the best virus catchers are hanging out, is right there in the good old West Wing.  It appears the Chrump team has not been drinking enough disinfectant.  First Chrump’s valet tested positive, then Pence’s press secretary – who just happens to be the very lucky and recently conscripted bride of Frankenstein…I mean Stephen Miller, Chrump’s ghoulish top advisor – who our sources tell us is part bat.

Next, we heard that the Secret Service detail surrounding President Death had 11 members test positive.  The most recent member of the White House hot spot is Ivanka’s personal assistant.  Who wants to bet that there is no mask wearing and no social distancing allowed in the White House?  Needless to say, you have the Orange Gas Cloud spewing spit and unchewed food everywhere as he yells at everyone, blaming them for his insane, incompetent bullshit.  And who wants to bet that the coronavirus’ best friend must constantly be reminded that testing positive is not a good thing? 

In any event, now everyone around Chrump will be tested daily.  They should not be tested every day until all Americans who need a test can get a test.  Something President Death said was true over two months ago.  It was not true then – not by a long shot – and it is not true now, still not be a long shot.  Some people say it is important to protect our leaders.  They are wrong in this case.  In any case, it is important for our leaders to protect the people.  These people are serial killers and should be treated as such.

Many people are running to the coronavirus for help

When asked what he thought about the new Mrs. Miller testing positive, the World’s Most Ignorant Man ruminated, “So, she tested positive out of the blue.  This is why the whole concept of tests aren’t necessarily great; the tests are perfect but something can happen between the test where it’s good then something happens and all of a sudden she was tested very recently and tested negative and then today for some reason she tested positive.”* whined that this proves testing is a waste of time because one minute you test negative and then the next, you test positive “for some reason.”  For some reason Americans have a president who is dumber than dirt.  I hope someone figures out how that happened.

You would think a known germaphobe like Chrump would know to protect his precious bodily fluids.  You would be much smarter than he is for thinking that, but you would also be, pardon the expression, dead wrong.

I. Mangrey reporting while socially distant.  SERENITY NOW!!! (R.I.P. Jerry Stiller)

*Actual fucking quote…for some reason