The More Things Strange, The More They Stay Insane

Stumbling Down Memory Lane 

May 4, 2020 

Been either a bit under the weather (hopefully allergies), lazy, and/or lost in Coronaville. As we muddle through each and every agonizing moment of Donald Chrump's metastasizing administration, I find myself misty-eyed for the days when we still had Dick Nixon to kick around some more, back when we mused about Dick Cheney – drunk out of his mind, hunting crippled birds – shooting a large, grown man in the face (a man who later apologized for being shot in the face), we take you back to a time before Paying Attention was even a twinkle in anyone’s fingertips and I. Mangrey could only shout his angst at the wind and rain and a few unfortunate friends. Back when Cheneys and Bushes and Rumsfelds and Ashcrofts roamed the Earth. Back before Twitter-crazed, orange-hued, mental defectives could become president and suggest that people might ingest or inject toxic disinfectants to kill a virus. And back before the novel coronavirus, thanks to the very strong, powerful and relentless help of Donald Chrump, killed almost 70,000 Americans…so far – still taking 2-3,000/day – and with no sign of slowing down any time soon.

I find that the only thing worse than spending most of my time sequestered in my home, is going to the market and seeing everyone either wearing a mask and trying to stay at least six feet away from everyone else at all times, or being too stupid to wear a mask and stay six feet away from everyone else at all times. I am definitely feeling less intact than I did at the start of The Quaran-times, but there are still a few things I can remember. I'm still coherent enough to know a significant date in American history when I see one. One of those things is the massacre perpetrated by the National Guard at Kent State University, where students peacefully protested an unjust war in Vietnam, 50 years ago today. I also remember, though I was not around at the time, 100 years before I was almost 30 years old – the Haymarket police riot, where workers peacefully protested for an eight-hour work day. So, remember when you ran away and I got on my knees and begged you not to leave because I'd go berserk...oops, wrong memory lane.

Remember?

Ed Venture
Managing Editor, Paying Attention 

Enjoy this blast from the past…but keep your head down. Especially if there are a bunch of assault-rifle-wielding “protesters” demanding to be infected with a deadly virus so they can share it with you before gunning you down. Anyway, if you have any spare time on your hands, first wash them properly, then sterilize your keyboard and then read this blast from the past… 

Haymarket, Kent State And Now This…

USSA

May 4, 2006 

On the anniversary of The Haymarket Tragedy of 1886, where the United States government violently disrupted a peaceful union rally during a nation-wide strike for an eight-hour workday – resulting in several dead American civilians and the scape-goating/imprisoning of several innocent men (later pardoned) and the Kent State Massacre of 1970, where the United States government violently disrupted a peaceful student protest against the Vietnam war – resulting in four American civilians dead and numerous wounded when National Guardsmen opened fire on unarmed students, Dick Cheney decides to massacre whatever semblance of world peace that may remain by leveling self-righteous threats against Russia.  Shocking almost everyone in the reality-based world community, Itchy-Trigger-Finger-Dick said, "In Russia today, opponents of reform are seeking to reverse the gains of the last decade."  Dick-Tator Cheney, the man who held inappropriate secret meetings with oil reps who wrote our nation’s energy policy, the man who led the charge to attack Iraq for no good reason whatsoever, the man who repeatedly lied to the American public about a make-believe relationship between bin Laden and Hussein, the man who vowed to maintain America’s right to use torture, the man who oversaw the outing of possibly our most important covert intelligence asset on Iranian nuclear issues and of course the man who shot his very large, very old fundraising and hunting buddy in the face, apparently mistaking him for a small, flightless bird while in a drunken stupor that took 18 hours to recover from. (Although, luckily for our nation’s security, the victim had the good sense to apologize once he was able to remain upright again and promised never to do bird imitations while sneaking up in front of a drunken man with a gun ever again.)  This very same Dick is the man who now sees fit to begin posturing to Russia that he has a thing or two to teach THEM about democracy in the 21^st Century.  Just when you think these guys can’t get any dumber… 

President Doody 

This administration is desperate for the good old days right after 9/11 when many Americans were filled with fear and loathing and willing to pretend that the recently appointed president was a glorious leader who would deliver them from evil with a crusade of freedom, bombing and torture.  This joyride was short-lived when we all found ourselves in a seemingly impromptu game of Three-country Monty.  Awash in what to some was a sea of lies and bullshit, we were suddenly being told that Osama bin Laden was in fact Saddam Hussein and that America needed to immediately invade a country that had nothing to do with our current Red Alert.  “Alright,” said most Americans, “you must know what you’re doing, even though last week you swore to git bin Laden dead or alive.”  Well, those days are gone now and the once very popular, if not in fact elected president now has an approval rating somewhere around that of syphilis. 

This unacceptable turn of events for a man who never looks at the polls calls for a stunning and futile gesture that will make people fear and love him again.  As if to prove that he never reads the polls (or the Constitution, newspapers, history, or books of any kind for that matter), President Pee Wee^© sent his top henchman out to do his talking for him.  None other than Dick-Tator Cheney has now been set loose on his first PR campaign since he shot a grown man in the face.  Apparently, Mr. Cheney has not learned his lesson of when to overindulge in alcoholic beverages safely.  One can only hope that Cheney was again out of his right mind when he accused Russia of backsliding on democracy saying, "In many areas of civil society…from religion and the news media to advocacy groups and political parties…the government has unfairly and improperly restricted the rights of the people."  Maybe he’s not drinking enough or perhaps somebody has slipped some LSD into his whiskey.  As if he hadn’t said enough already, the crazed Veep went on to flagrantly insult Russia saying, "No legitimate interest is served when oil and gas become tools of intimidation or blackmail, either by supply manipulation or attempts to monopolize transportation.”  Somebody get this guy a mirror.

Vice President Strangelove 

Strangely enough, Russian President Vladimir Putin responded angrily, accusing Cheney of risking the start of a new Cold War with such irresponsible comments.  This of course is just what the Dick-Tator ordered.  He knows there is no way in hell that his “boss’s” poll numbers can improve without a massive threat to national security – real or imagined.  Since the Iran thing isn’t panning out the way they wanted, the Pee Wee administration is desperately searching for an alternative dance partner for the necessary threat of a new war in time for the upcoming mid-term elections.  Cheney, who cut his fangs on Cold War politics obviously decided to go home with who brought him to this dance.

Cheney of course stands behind his comments, which he claims were carefully crafted, just as he stood behind his shooting of a man in the face while hunting crippled birds. 

Thanks for listening. Responsible comment invited.