Sunday, December 5, 2021

Broken News

Congress: No Experience (Or Brains)(Or Tact) Required

December 5, 2021

She’s Talking All The Time, But She’s Not Saying Anything (Useful)

Mentally defective congresswoman Lauren Slowbert, in a room full of white, fellow mental-defectives, “joked” about her colleague Ilhan Omar being a suicide bomber. Racism aside, the incident Slowbert related never happened, but she knows she can use racism to make friends and influence (stupid and/or racist) people – and get them to give her money. She reportedly attempted an apology over the phone, presumably so no one else could hear her act like a civilized human being. That would not have sat well with her compatriot Taylor Glock who had earlier tweeted, “Never apologize to Islamic terrorists, communists, or those who fund murderers with our tax dollars.” I guess our little Margie, who continues masquerading as a mammal, has no working knowledge of American history...or anything else apparently. With the possible exception of the last few words of the Second Amendment, taken wholly out of context. 

Funny thing about Slowbert’s apology, it ended up with her demanding an apology and then having Ilhan Omar hang up on her. Omar demanded a public apology, which Slowbert repeatedly refused, finally verbally assaulting Omar saying “that she should make a public apology to the American people for her anti-American, anti-Semitic, anti-police rhetoric.” 

Slowbert posing with favorite sex toy/best friend

Tragical Bigotry Tour 

Slowbert surely only apologized (such as it was) because, 1) her boss Kevin McCarthy was pretending to briefly possess a spine and made her (probably begged her is more accurate) apologize, and 2) she got caught this time. This time? Yes; apparently she has been mounting an Islamaphobapalooza Tour. two more videos have surfaced showing Slowbert telling the same twisted lie/story several months ago. Her fans really should stop filming her. And if she had any brains, she really would STFU. A Guinness-World-Record-sized if.

Fun fact: Slowbert and her husband are no strangers to benefitting from white privilege. Both have been arrested more than once and pulled off court no-shows without consequences, and then having charges dropped. Don’t try this at home unless you’re white. 

Flynn Spin 

Speaking of mental defectives, disgraced general, convicted felon, Qanon fanboy, and bull-goose conspiracy aficionado Mike Flynn was caught during a private phone call saying this about Qanon: “I think it’s a disinformation campaign. I think it’s a disinformation campaign that the CIA created. That’s what I believe.” Flynn went on to add, “I find it total nonsense. And I think it’s a disinformation campaign created by the left.” Huh? Didn’t Flynn pledge allegiance to Qanon last year. Spoiler Alert: Yes he did (see below). 

Remember, one of the few things Barack Obama tried to warn his successor about was: do not hire Mike Flynn (who was at the time working for the Turkish government without notifying the proper American authorities, and also cozying up to Putin, as were most of Turmp's top aides). So of course, Turmp gave Flynn one of the most powerful, sensitive positions in government, one that did not require any oversight or Senate approval - National Security Advisor.

Flynn and friends reciting QAnon pledge on Independence Day 2020 

Wow, so according to Flynn, this is the turducken of conspiracy theories. A conspiracy theory that is itself a double conspiracy, a double disinformation campaign. Is Flynn saying that the CIA is part of the left? Is he saying that as a high-profile Q supporter (and QAnon t-shirt salesman) he has been knowingly spreading disinformation created by the left in order to dupe QAnon supporters...including himself? Or is he just making it clearer than ever that he is psychotic. As if anyone who is not psychotic had any doubts. 

Paying Attentionapology: Please forgive all the parenthetical statements; there was a three-for-one holiday sale on parentheses and we just couldn’t resist, and then felt compelled to use them up (before they went bad)

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled nausea.

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