The Lizard Of Oz

Pay No Attention To This Man, Or It's Curtains

December 9, 2021

As a life-long Pennsylvania resident, I have no interest in having an out-of-state conman Ratpublican representing my home state in the U.S. Senate. Oz, who just last year changed his voting address to his in-laws’ house in Pennsylvania, is a tv celebrity/surgeon/slimeball who hawked unproven (i.e., bullshit) weight loss supplements. Oz couldn’t even be bothered to show up in person, and instead submitted an absentee ballot. Or so we are told.

Oz lied that green coffee bean extract was a “magic weight loss cure for every body type” and that raspberry ketone was a “miracle in a bottle to burn your fat, on television. Was this the ingesting-bleach-to-cure-COVID version of weight loss advice? You make the call.

At least he’s serious about doctoring

Oz announced his carpet-bagging candidacy on Sean Hannity’s Fantasy Hour, which should give some idea of what to expect during Oz’s campaign, claims of victory after his humiliating defeat and/or disastrous time in office. Just like Donald Turmp following in the dog-shit-coated footsteps of George WTF Bush, replacing Pat Toomey with Mehmet Oz would substitute what seemed like a totally inept clown with something even less ept and more buffoonish. Do his friends call him ‘Meh’?

Dr. Oz visits his biggest fan

Oz also used his standing as a celebrity/physician to explain that astrological signs “may reveal a great deal about our health.”

If Oz was a Democrat, you can bet your COVID-infested MAGA hat that Ratpublicans would be freaking out because Mehmet Oz is a carpetbagger. They would be mewling about his name – what kind of name is Mehmet anyway? Fucker Carlson would be asking, “Is he really white and was he even born in this country (he was born in Ohio)? I’m just asking.” Dozens of Ratpublicans would be asking, “Why won’t he show his birth certificate? Doesn't that make him ineligible? Isn't that in the Second Amendment?”

Get outa my state!

Pay no attention to that scam behind the curtain. He’s not a Pennsylvanian, he’s just here to try and replace our departing two-term Ratpublican Pat Toomey to pad his own resume. To be fair, Toomey did little or nothing for Pennsylvanians, and he wasn’t born here either, and he was just a grifting corporate whore who mainly represented Chinese business interests. I will happily vote for either John Fetterman, Malcolm Kenyatta, Conor Lamb, Val Arkoosh, Sharif Street, Kevin Baumlin, John McGuigan, Alexandria Kalil, Brandaun Dean, Eric Orts, Larry Johnson, Alan Shank or Llewellyn Tapera – whoever wins the Democratic nomination. Or perhaps an out-of-date box of Lucky Charms. But not Dr. Oz. I’ve had quite enough of television celebrities pretending to hold important public office.

I. Mangrey recoiling.