March 20, 2017
Chrump’s first federal budget has arrived. Like an IED in
your pancakes. Hopefully, like the Hindenburg. The plan is to further bloat the
already mortally obese military budget at the expense of everything else. Who
needs anything else? Prepare for a thousand cuts people. Say goodbye to money
for feeding the poor and the housebound elderly – what a bunch of moochers. Say
goodbye to government financed research, PBS, NEA, clean air, clean water, bald
eagles and just too many other very helpful programs to mention. Since almost
no one in New York City voted for Chrump, he is taking away all federal funding
of the NYPD. Pretty much anything you can think of that seems like a good idea,
kiss it goodbye. But the best news has not even dropped yet – massive tax cuts
for the very rich. It is amazing that anything that benefits those in need gets
labeled an “entitlement”. Tax cuts for the already rich is just smart business.
I guess you cannot give entitlements to those already deemed entitled. It is
only an entitlement if you desperately need it. Those greedy poor people will
just have to get over themselves and sell a few organs so they can buy smart
phones or whatever. And what the hell has science ever done for anyone anyway?
While Chrump is ballooning the military budget, the CEO of
Exxon, I mean the CEO of the State Department, I mean the Secretary of State,
Wrecks Tillerson, thinks we need to eliminate the State Department because, 1)
all these diplomats are wasting valuable tax dollars that could be used to help
rich people, and 2) he says, "As time goes by, there will be fewer
military conflicts that the U.S. will be directly engaged in." I’m not
sure which end of the feeding tube that stuff came out of, but then he pulled
his saber out of his ass and started rattling it in North Korea’s face saying, “Certainly
we do not want to, for things to get to military conflict. If they elevate the
threat of their weapons program to a level that we believe requires action,
then, that option’s on the table.” Confused? Don’t be. Just smile knowingly,
think happy thoughts and try not to swallow your tongue. Do not bother getting
all your affairs in order because there will not be anyone around to inherit
what little you may have left.
Go Chrump yourself!
Chrump Tweets While
America Burns
What day (or two) in alt-reality would be complete without a
dose of dangerous stupidity from our Clodhopper-in-chief – via Twitter of
course – because he “can get around the media when the media doesn’t tell the
truth”? Seriously dude, get help.
And why miss an opportunity to talk smack about something
you do not understand and someone you just met with, behind her back? You
gutless worm. FAKE YOU motherfaker. Seriously dude, get out. While we still
have a chance.
But, I Digress…
Back to the budget-from-hell. We simply must get rid of the
onerous, bank-breaking Meals on Wheels. Who does it really help anyway? Nobody
from Goldman Sacks, that I can tell you. Chrump’s budget assassin, the new head
of the Office of Management and Budget Mick Mulvaney, who is “in charge” of
cutting and wasting, says Meals on Wheels does not work, “They have never
brought me one singe meal. One day I was busy trying to shut down the
government and hadn’t eaten in several hours, and no meals on wheels came to
feed me. Obviously the program is a total failure. Nobody likes it. Getting rid
of it is probably one of the most
compassionate things we can do.” (non-alternative quote in italics) What is
it with these people? Paul Ryan thinks he is “doing an act of mercy” by taking
health care from 26,000,000 people and Mulvaney thinks it is compassionate to
take food out of needy people’s mouths. Only those who can afford the best get
a free lunch in Chrump’s Amerika.
Pence and Ryan learn that Ryan’Scare will mercifully help
26,000,000 lose health insurance
Mulvaney also straightened us out on all that climate change
nonsense. In case anyone was wondering about the policies oozing out of an
alt-president who said (out loud, in public) "The concept of global
warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing
non-competitive." Chrump later tried to claim it was a joke. Unless it was
automatically a joke because of who said it, it was not a joke. Well wonder no
longer; Mulvaney assured us of the new stance on climate change research, “We
consider that to be a waste of your money to go out and do that.” That goodness
the tiny little baby steps we have taken to address what is probably the
biggest crisis the human race has ever seen have finally reached their
destination. The cliff’s edge. And our gracious alt-president is more than
happy to provide that little shove to finish the job properly. At least no one
will be around to blame the son-of-a-bitch. Not that it would matter with Der
Furor, because nothing is ever his fault. The buck stops everywhere but where
he is. He will even blame his greatest benefactor – Fux News. As for his
barbaric budget, and what it will mean for us regular folks, the bucks just
stop.
Soon our social services, our public schools, our
environmental policies will rival those of North Korea, maybe even Yemen if we
keep working at it. And unless we rid ourselves of the cold sore they call
president it could be much sooner than we think.
The great Randy Newman - from 2008
Hound your congressperson, nag your senators. Go to the
window, open it, and stick your head out and yell, ‘I’m as mad as hell and I’m
not going to take this anymore.’
I. Mangrey reporting. Not budgeting my time very well.
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