Executive Discharge

Methinks He Doth Persist Too Much

Mor-on-Lago, FL
March 8, 2017

Although Der Furor insists he “will be proven right” about having his “wires tapped” by Barack Obama, he is not talking about anymore. Many people are saying that he is being strategically sedated and is receiving regular Novocain injections in his thumbs and possibly his skull over the last few days. But how did his most recent tweeting frenzy erupt?

Real sources close to Precedent Chrump are saying that Baby Donny left for Mor-on-Lago at the end of his work-week (He still thinks being a pathetically failed president is just another Monday to Friday gig – not that he ever had one of those.) in a very bad frame of mind…even for him. He was very upset that his brain-damaged minions were unable to control the whole Russia fiasco, allowing reality to rain all over his imagined parade on the heels of passing his first reading test earlier in the week. After all, his speech was by far too many accounts a roaring success. This is apparently because over the course of an entire hour he used his big boy voice and did not once pull out his pecker and urinate all over Congress. Quite an accomplishment and not something that was expected.

When the orange bile finally rose to the surface, all he could do was barf out a bunch of unhinged tweets at six in the morning – his forte – like the rantings of an out-of-control child who got his hands on daddy’s phone to tweeted his blind rage. The Conspiracy-theorist-in-chief accused President Barack Obama of personally wiretapping his golden phone at Chrump Tower in New York, during the presidential campaign. The former Director of National Intelligence said definitively that no such tap was ever executed. Even the FBI has asked the Department of Justice to immediately and publicly refute Chrump’s insane accusations.

Many people are saying that Chrump saw a story on Breitbart Conspiracy Theory News, went ballistic, and tweeted his unvarnished (putting it mildly), mentally deficient reaction. Alternative real sources say that Chrump had a mini-stroke and had no (as opposed to the usual barely perceivable) idea who or where he was – lucky bastard – but was able to spit out an early-morning series of deranged 140-character rants before slipping into what is being described as a fairly brief coma, during which his staff was able to wrest his phone away for safe keeping. Only time will tell how long they can keep Der Furor from demanding they return his weapon of choice. I say – Let him have it.

This know-nothing knucklehead thinks that since he ran his campaign on locking up his opponent, everyone else in a position of authority is a similarly morally bankrupt NIXON fascist. The new administration NIXON continues to stonewall any investigation NIXON of Russia’s involvement in hacking the DNC NIXON and possibly the election NIXON. Does this remind you of anyone? Not to mention the apparent connections between any number of Chrump’s inner circle, including Chrump himself, and ill-intentioned Russian operatives. Instead, Chrump is apoplectic about investigating the imaginary wiretap Obama placed on his phone.

I. Mangrey reporting.

                                                                                                    Mad in USA