Question For The Day – Monster's Truck

Trump: New Spokesmodel For Tesler

March 14, 2025

The two half-presidents took to the White House lawn to illegally do a commercial for the failing Telsa Motors company. Due to Telsa CEO fElon Muskkk’s wanton destruction of our entire government infrastructure, some people, for some reason, have come to hate his miserable fucking guts. At least that’s what many people are saying.

Tesla sales and stock price have plummeted, as has Muskkk’s personal net worth (though not nearly enough, according to some people). It seems the most reviled of Muskkk’s products (other than Muskkk himself who is highly reviled by a large majority of Americans) – and this was probably true even before Muskkk bought Trump another go-round at making America shit again and started fucking around with everything he knows nothing about – is the ugliest thing on any road anywhere: the Cybertruck.

QVC – White House Edition: it’s pathetic, but at least it’s illegal

Trump previously trashed electric vehicles, saying out of at least one side of his mouth, "They don't go far, they cost a fortune. So unless you wanna go to the store or something, you're not gonna buy it." Somehow, the huckster-in-chief forgot to claim that they cause cancer. But now Don wants you to buy his owner’s cars. During their infomercial outside what is currently the White-Nationalist House, Don lied that he was going to buy one of fElon’s cars. Hey, I have an idea; Don is so rich he could buy thousands of them and distribute them to those who want them. And many people actually would want one, except that fElon is such a fucking dick.

Sales of Teslas – or “Teslers” as Don calls them (because his brain is Jell-o) – are in the toilet worldwide: compared to a year ago, sales are down 70% in Germany and Australia, down 50% in Portugal, down 48% in Norway, 45% in France, and down 42% in Sweden. Tesler stock has lost 50% of its value since December 2024. None of this is because Teslers don't go far (they do) and they cost a fortune (they don't). It's because fElon is such a fucking dick.

Der Furor claimed that boycotting Tesler is “illegal”. Dumbo the President also wants his fake-justice department to make vandalizing Teslers an act of domestic terrorism. As opposed to everything he and fElon are doing, which are actual acts of domestic terrorism.

Today’s Question For The Day: 

Would you buy this piece of shit from these assholes?

Bonus Question:

Are we having fun yet?

This has been your Paying Attention™ Question For The Day.