Filling the Final Cabinet

Uncle Ben’s Contorted Advice

December 10, 2016

Dr. Ben Carson believes that Joseph built the pyramids to store grain and that being gay is “absolutely” a choice. In defense of Carson, simultaneously being a brain surgeon and complete doofus is not a choice. However, since Mental Ben is no longer a brain surgeon I suppose all bets are off. During the primaries Chrump called Carson “pathological” and compared him to a child molester.

Chrump has now nominated Carson, to head Housing and Urban Development. Sounds like a perfect fit. You know the old saying, “Pathological child molesters of a feather…” Carson may have said in response to the nomination, “I may not have the slightest idea how to run a huge government agency with thousands of employees and billions of dollars to work with, or have any idea what a government or government agency actually is, but I’m sure if I put my mind to it and can keep my eyes open for a few minutes every day that I can make this work. As you may know I am an urban person myself. I believe that being poor is a choice, as is being black.”

Carson, who benefitted from welfare payments and food stamps as a child said, “Obamacare is really, I think, the worst thing that has happened in this nation since slavery. it is slavery in a way because it is making all of us subservient to the government.” Carson is on record as opposing welfare and food stamps because they breed dependency. He must be made of stronger stuff.

Supporters say that since Carson spent part of his childhood in public housing, which he shared in his autobiography, he is qualified to run HUD. The funny part is that Carson did not spend any of his childhood in public housing even though his autobiography says he did. Ben should have a long talk with the author.

I. Mangrey reporting, crying, nauseated and fighting off seizures.