Post Midterm Mortem

Checks on The Unbalanced

November 9, 2018

Chrump called out by name a number of defeated Republican’ts who he claims lost because they “didn’t want the embrace.”  They did not want the Godfather’s kiss on the cheek.  Chrump somehow failed to single out those who lost despite and/or because of embracing the embrace and the embracer. 

We remain under dire threat from domestic terror on two fronts.  There is the substantial white supremacist wing of the Republican’t party.  The Charlottesville terrorists who murdered one person, the multi-bomber from just before the midterms, and the mass murderer from the Tree of Life shooting.  All of these very fine people were enabled, encouraged and incited by the fake prezident.

Find the prezident

The other front is the lawless, self-obsessed rabid orange raccoon in the White House – the fake prezident himself.  Poised to destroy the Mueller investigation, if not the actual evidence, the anti-democracy, anti-intellectual, anti-reality human bucket of KFC continues his unfettered (soon to be significantly more fettered) assault on the Constitution he swore (with his tiny little fingers crossed) to protect and defend. The Disaster-in-chief poses a clear and present danger to the United States.

“Hope you enjoyed your little midterm, losers.  None of your
puny people can do a damn thing until…
whatever, January, I think.  By then it’ll be too late.”

Democrats received six percent more votes overall, and despite having the deck perpetually stacked against them with gerrymandering and electoral hanky-panky, they picked up at least 30 (may end up with 38) House seats; that is the largest gain for Dems in four decades – since the wave meant to send a message to previous Republican’t criminal president Richard “Yes You Fucking Are A Crook” Nixon.  Dems also won 16 governors’ races.  Fun Fact: Even in the Senate races, Democrats garnered 15.5 percent more votes than Republican’ts overall.

On the other hand, Republican’t voters elected a dead pimp to Congress in Nevada.  And Nazi fanboy Steve King won re-election in Iowa.  Go team!

Chrump supporters mourn midterms and plan for 2020

Soon after the final vote was cast, the result of which was having his Crayola-orange raccoonesque head handed to him in the midterm elections, Chrump insisted that his Chief-of-staff John Kelly inform Jeff Sessions it was time for him to spend more time with his family.  The Cheese-puff-in-chief finally completed the super-slow-motion firing of Sessions that began during the first week of his ill-gotten presidency.

In Sessions’ place is Chrump’s hand-picked serial Mueller basher Matthew Whitaker, who has called the Mueller investigation a “witch hunt” that has crossed “a red line” and “should be shut down.”  Whitaker literally got a job on cable news in order to audition for a job in the White House.  He knew Chrump would see him if he was on TV and saying things Der Furor likes to hear.  Next thing you know, Whitaker is Sessions’ chief-of-staff and now he is acting attorney general (emphasis on acting).  This guy would not qualify to run The People’s Court…or The Price is Right for that matter.  Nonetheless, Chrump finally has his attorney general.  America does not.  Not that the one we just lost was worth the cracker he was printed on, but at least he knew that his job was not to answer Chrump’s insane question, “Where’s my Roy Cohn?” 

Ignoring protocols (as usual) regarding order of succession in order to install Whitaker, who will certainly and gladly do whatever he can get away with to kill the Mueller investigation.  With any luck, the fact that Whitaker has many more reasons to recuse himself from the Russia probe, will become an issue in both the real world and Chrumpworld.  According to Fux News’ Judge Anthony Napolitano, Chrump “has chosen someone who does not qualify under the law to be the acting Attorney General of the United States…That's why he did not take the oath of office.”   

According to a New York Times op-ed co-written by Kellyanne Conjob’s lawyer husband, “…Trump’s installation of Matthew Whitaker as acting attorney general of the United States after forcing the resignation of Jeff Sessions is unconstitutional. It’s illegal. And it means that anything Mr. Whitaker does, or tries to do, in that position is invalid.” 

Whitaker prepares to fake take the reins and dispose of his ex-boss

Chrump and his very, very big uh-brain will be looking to pull a series of fast ones before the changing of the guard in Congress. 

I. Mangrey reporting.  Fuckle up bolks.