Chrump The Insult Prezident Dog*

How Do We Get This Mutt To Stop Humping Our Leg
and Peeing on The Oval Office Rug?

November 19, 2018

First…

As I take keys to fingers, the midterm wave continues to get bluer, presumably because those crooked Democrats insist on counting every vote.  It is simply disgraceful.  Before all the votes were counted, many Republican’t candidates were clearly winning.  Counting all the votes, it is now obvious, tends to make Democrats win.  As Republican’ts have been screaming from the rooftops for decades, this constitutes an unfair advantage.  More on this as final vote counts continue to come in. 

“Why are you low IQ, fake reporters so mean to Chrump? 
Is it because I poop on you every day?”

*formerly known as Chrump The Insult Candidate Dog, again with apologies to Triumph The Insult Comic Dog (seen below) who is actually funny, incisive, and much better looking than Chrump

 

Bad Prezident! Bad Prezident! Down Boy!

 

Chrump The Insult Prezident Dog is rapidly descending into, if this can be believed, a more profound state of madness than when he first accosted the political scene by calling all Mexicans rapists and murderers.  Ahhhh, the good old days, when America could still believe that a racist conman with a very, very small uh-brain would never become president.  America back then was like an innocent child, but that poor little child ended up seeing her father humping the neighbor’s dog.  And not a classy, well-groomed pedigree, but a three-legged mutt with rabies – ironically, half French poodle, half Chihuahua.  America will be scarred for life, but will hopefully embark on an immediate and lengthy course of therapy to mitigate the damage.

 

Contrary to Jeb Bush’s matronly admonishment, “Donald, you’re not going to be able to insult your way to the presidency,” Chrump was in fact able to insult his way to an all-expenses-paid White House vacation – complete with incessant golf outings, travel to exotic lands (not shithole countries mind you, but nice places with lots of white people), and an array of big-screen TVs and all the time in the world to watch them.  But, the insults did not stop once he gained access to the People’s House.  Chrump has spent most of his time there insulting his way to World War III and/or impeachment, or at the very least, the near destruction of whatever good America has brought to the world. 

Chrump made the 2018 midterms about fear and ignorance. Fear, ignorance and an almost fanatical devotion to himself.  Chrump’s act consists of nothing other than insulting everything in sight – Mexicans, the Chinese, POWs, women, handicapped people, Jews, Muslims, people of color, the military, the intelligence community, the intelligence of the vast majority of Americans, and in fact the inarguably diminished intelligence of most of those who support him for reasons they cannot even explain.  

Der Furor also made it abundantly clear that the midterm elections were all about him.  And for once, he was right.  Despite the fact that Chrumpy the talking raccoon told a reporter, “To be honest, I’ll be honest, I thought it was…It was a very close…to complete victory,” this was one of the bluest, waviest midterms in history.  It could not be clearer that voters, who turned out in overwhelming numbers, wanted to send Chrump a message.  That message was not, as Chrump seems to want us to think he believes, “Thank you,” it was much closer to “Fuck you!” I know, it is shocking to think that our nation’s leader is so stunningly delusional beyond repair, but it just might be true.  Take appropriate action.  Your umbrage may vary.

The Party of Chrump did manage to win two of the most high-profile races – those for governor in Florida and Georgia.  These two campaigns showed that the only way to stop strong, surging, progressive African-American candidates, was with virulently racist, reactionary white males.  As Andrew Gillum said of his opponent, and as is equally true of Donald Chrump, “I’m not saying my opponent is a racist.  I’m simply saying that the racists believe he’s a racist.”  Apparently, the only way to stop a black guy with a vote, is a white guy who decides who will be permitted to vote and who will not.  Despite all of that, both races were squeakers, but the white racists carried the day.  Some people think all of this is problematic.

I. Mangrey recounting. Don’t make me come over there.