June 1, 2018
Chrump is having so many wonderful effects on America right
now. So much winning. So much
tweeting. So much painful rectal
itching. The man in the orange paint is
inspiring all manner of interesting behaviors across America. We have a massive spike in overt racist
behavior. More and more mass
shootings. America’s always tenuous
relationship with the truth is now as tangible as Saddam Hussein’s WMD – which,
though he did have a significant supply back in the 1990s, (sold to him by
Donald Rumsfeld before he became George W. Bush’s offensive Secretary of
Defense) were non-existent when Dick Cheney lied us into his illegal war on the
basis of their existence. Chrump’s
prezidency, though somewhat less overtly bloody, is making Game of Thrones look
like Mr. Rogers’ neighborhood.
Millions of Americans remain enraptured as they drift directionless
in the sea of stupid that is submerging the swamp Chrump swore he would
drain. More and more Americans are working
hard at being idiots by believing the perpetually lying sack of shit that is
Donald J. Chrump. According to a
Huffington Post poll, 48 percent of Republican’ts said they believe that between
three and five million people voted illegally in 2016, just like Der Furor told
them; 17 percent said they do not and 35 percent. Almost 25 percent of Democrats also believe
Chrump’s absurd lie.
Sperm Shirk, Eggs Elude
Americans are doing more and more of less and less. Those who ignore the news have a chance at
the bliss of ignorance. Those who are
paying close attention spend most waking hours is shock and horror, then pray
for dreamless sleep. There is one
particular activity that Americans are doing considerably less of under
Chrump’s undyed eye.
The birthrate for 2017 was at its lowest point in 30
years. Many of you may be familiar with
the term Baby Boom. For those who are
not, this refers to the huge spike in birth-giving between the end of World War
II and the assassination of JFK (I’m looking at you Richard Nixon). Certainly, the end of WWII was a time of
intense joy and stress reduction across the globe, and this world wide sigh of
relief led to a veritable free-for-all of sexy time, which resulted in a tsunami
of what are commonly referred to as “babies.”
Now, those Baby Boomers make up some 20 percent of America’s
population.
Babies can sense imminent
threats to their survival.
Many are now refusing to be conceived.
Many are now refusing to be conceived.
Baby Doomers
On the flip side, we have the “election,” inauguration, and
subsequent descent into life under the tiny thumb of one Donald J. Chrump. By now, you have surely deduced the
connection between the onset of Chrumptopia and the preponderance of flaccid
phalluses, clenched knees and incapacitating headaches plaguing the majority of
Americans, and the resulting kibosh on kid-making.
It is possible that Chrump has simply sickened people to the
point that they cannot stand the sight of each other, or maybe the thought of
Chrump having sex with porn stars and Playmates, sexually assaulting dozens of
women, talking about dating his daughter, and just generally being Chrump has
turned people off to sex for the foreseeable future.
Chrump mistakes Rudy G for Ivanka back when he was seriously
considering dating at least one of them. (The video is much worse.)
The combination of no one ever being in the mood, and the
sad though completely conscionable decision to spare a future generation, let’s
call them Generation F**ked, from having to enter a world either still dealing
directly with, or struggling to recover from, the devastation of World War
Chrump, should keep the future Chrump-driven suffering to a relative minimum. For once, misery is trying to avoid company.
I. Mangrey not reproducing.
Making the world safe for reality.
No comments:
Post a Comment