It's Official - Worst President Ever

Historic Hysterics

December 19, 2019

Festering in his own juices, while awaiting the inevitable impeachment he had worked so hard to attain, Donald Chrump took time out of his busy schedule of tweeting, golfing and watching cable news to write a perfect letter to Nancy Pelosi.  It was least as perfect as his phone call to Volodymyr Zelensky back in July, although he refuses to commit that one to paper for the purpose of history, or fact-finding.  

I had to take a break because I could feel my brain starting to bleed.  After some preventive medicinal intervention, I eventually made it through page two, by which time it felt like I was being punched in the head...from the inside.  Once I was able to breathe again, I decided to take my chances with page three.  This was a huge mistake, resulting in bodily functions the details of which are better left unshared.  Although it is my (entirely unpaid) job to dig through the trash bin of what will become history, I confess that I skipped some of this veritable swamp of word smashing and went to the end of this erroneous, egregious, excretory exercise in excess.

Near the end of his poisonous prose: “I write this letter to you for the purpose of history and to put my thoughts on a permanent and indelible record.”  I suppose now, anyone fortunate enough not being permanently scarred in real time, will be able to vicariously experience the utter madness and torture that was the Chrump Era.

Naturally, Chrump did not write any of the big words or complete sentences, but the misshapen mind of man behind the malignant message is as obvious as it is odious.  Despite Stephen Miller’s worst efforts, there is no hiding the unhealthy sprinkling of Chrumpian drivel.

The pages of the once proud and courageous Washington Post, wherein Ben Bradley once decided to not play it safe and risk everything in order to bring the gravely disturbed and morbidly paranoid Richard Nixon to the brink of his own impeachment, and eventual resignation, called Chrump’s latest tour-de-farce “fiery and freewheeling.”  AYFKM.  Perhaps they meant ‘fiery’ like what is destroying much of California, and ‘freewheeling’ like a school bus with no brakes careening toward a beckoning abyss. 

Others more accurately described this aggravated anthology of Chrump's most pathetic tweets in less glowing, less tone-deaf terms.  Draconian, delusional, demented, disingenuous, depraved, dishonest, dangerous, desperate, disastrous, dystopian, disturbing, depressing and downright dumb - and those are just the descriptors that begin with the letter 'd'.  For fun, let’s ‘f’ it up a little: Frenzied, fallacious, freakish, fatuous, feral, frantic, furious, fractious, foolish, fevered, frightening, farblunget, farfetched, fabricated, funiculì, funiculà, feckless, fucked-up and futile.  Imagine someone drunk dialing you, but with malice aforethought and weeks of preparation, and then putting it on paper.  Then, imagine that person does not even drink. 

King Crimson – Elephant talk

Prologue – IMPEACHMENT ACCOMPLISHED
 
Yes, a prologue belongs at the beginning, but we are not living in normal times, so deal with it.
 
On December 18, 2019, at 8:34 PM, Eastern Time, the House of Representatives (amid much grumbling by Republican’ts) officially adopted Article I of the impeachment of Donald J. Trump – Abuse of power.  There is now a permanent stain on the presidency that has itself permanently stained the United States of America.  Article II – Obstruction of Congress was adopted 18 minutes later.  Among the Democrats, three voted nay and Tulsi Gabbard voted ‘present.’  Not one single Republican’t sided with the Constitution, the facts or this country; every one of them bought further shame, and hopefully a groundswell of loathing on their party by voting to defend an indefensible, confessed criminal.  The motherfucker has been impeached already finally, and has the distinction of being the only president ever impeached during his first term. 

The ball is now in your kangaroo court Moscow Mitch.

I. Mangrey reporting.  Panic responsibly.