Just Two, Brute?

Two Articles

December 12, 2019

In order to avoid taxing the very fragile, and in many cases, badly damaged brains of over half of the United States Senate and a frighteningly large percentage of the American public, the House of Representatives has introduced a mere two of the possible dozen or so readily available articles of impeachment against Donald J. Chrump – the only president ever to face impeachment during their first term.

Article 1: Abuse of power
Article 2: Obstruction of Congress

Everyone knows what Chrump did.  Chrump knows what he did.  Whether he knows it or not.  He and several of his conspirators have told us what he did.  Repeatedly.  And you cannot tell me that his “hair” is not an impeachable offense, and likely a crime against humanity.  Yet it seems he will get away with that one.  Either way, impeach the motherfucker already.

Seriously? You gave that a thumbs up before
prying yourself away from your giant mirror?

How did Chrump respond to hearing the actual articles of impeachment?  After throwing the obligatory Twissy fit*, he invited Russia’s top diplomat – one who Chrump invited over right after firing James Comey, and with whom Chrump also shared highly classified intelligence that jeopardized both foreign policy and the life of an American operative in the Kremlin – back to the Oval Office for another secret meeting and some TLC.  Presumably, Chrump asked him for a favor though.

Finally, we have made it through the nail-biting first few weeks of Impeachment Season, and now it is Impeachment Eve.  The House has hung all the articles with care, with hopes that impeachment soon would be there.  Last night the Democrats laid out all the facts and implored their adversaries (I am loath to call them colleagues) to honor their oaths of office, and the Republican’ts whined, yelled and begged the American public to ignore all the ridiculous facts and unimpeachable witnesses.  Though it is clear that Moscow Mitch (husband of China Chao) will grimly reap the impeachment trial in the Senate, we should be glad that House Democrats did what the Constitution required.

I still remember the fun I had watching Sam Ervin and the Watergate Committee dig up the dirt on then third-rate-burglary-mastermind Richard Nixon, causing him to slither out of office half way through his second term.  I long felt an uneasy reassurance, and I suppose no small degree of hope in the knowledge that Nixon was the most corrupt, unstable president I would see in my life.  Ah, the sweet innocence of an impressionable teenager. 

Some 40 years later I took some satisfaction in the fact that George W. Bush was the worst president in my lifetime.  Differently corrupt, and not so much unstable as just plain dumb.  Bush of course was (wrongly) not subjected to the impeachment process.  I was fully prepared, and again I suppose more than slightly hopeful that Bush would remain the worst president ever for a very, very long time.  Ah, the unwarranted optimism of mid-life.

A depressingly paltry eight years later, a bloated, cotton candy-topped orange buffoon waddled down his golden escalator and verbally assaulted the world.  Republican’ts today whine that Democrats wanted to impeach Chrump from day one (something they themselves did with Bill Clinton and longed to do with Barack Obama).  They understandably want us to ignore Chrump’s ultimately successful plea for Russia to interfere on his behalf in the 2016 election – legitimate grounds for impeachment – something lacking in the cases of both Clinton and Obama.

Win or lose, I am glad it has come to this – Impeachment Eve.  Chrump is a life-long criminal – he just coughed up $2M in punitive damages after losing another in a long string of lawsuits, this one related to his totally fake charity.

I. Mangrey reporting. 

*a Twitter hissy fit