Sinko De Moron

Nancy vs. The Volcano

December 23, 2019

Many people have expressed something that could hardly be mistaken for enthusiasm over the fact that Donald Chrump has been impeached already.  Admittedly, Chrump remains president, and the trial of the impeached president must end up in the filthy hands of Moscow Mitch McConnell.  The frustration over Chrump’s continued ability to withstand everything from repeatedly admitting to sexual assault and harassment, to repeatedly being found guilty of fraud, to repeatedly divulging national security secrets to Russia, to constantly stuffing his gullet with food that has killed for less, is completely understandable. 

At the very least Der Furor is seething mad and will remain so at least through the holidays and for some unknown number of days in the new year.  You know Chrump is waking up several times a night in a cold sweat with visions of Nancy Pelosi dancing in his head.  Maybe he will tear his “hair” out, maybe it will fall out on its own.  Maybe a hamberder or two will go down the wrong pipe when he impolitely insists on screaming while he is eating. 

Also take some degree of solace, for now at least, that whatever else happens, Donald Chrump will be forever mentioned in the same breath as Andrew Johnson and Richard Nixon, whose legacies always feature the fact that they were, above all else, impeached (Well, in Nixon's case, impeached-adjacent).  Add to that the multi-tiered irony that Chrump will also be tethered to the victim (however otherwise despicable he might have been) of the actual partisan-witch-hunt-impeachment – Mr. Hillary Clinton. 

Chrump has the distinction (emphasis on stink) of being the only one to suffer the ignominious fate of being impeached during his first and only term.  And the only one who practically buries himself in makeup and hairspray every day.  Can you say ‘pathetic loser’?  I knew you could.

Speaking of world class losers, some of you are old enough to remember the worst, most inept and dangerous president to not face impeachment.  The man who brought us torture, fake WMD, illegally invading the wrong country, destroying the world economy and Dick Cheney.  He was poised to be the worst president ever for a century or more, until the mind-numbing arrival, a mere eight years later, of the infinitely worse Donald Chrump. 

The Mangrey household proudly featured a George W. Bush piñata, which hung around the house for several years, during which time it was subjected to countless whackings until it was finally burned in effigy the night Barack Obama was elected to clean up Bush's mess and try to get the world to stop pointing and laughing at America.

Never forget.  War criminal.  Moron.  Sack of shit.

Remember how it almost seemed a relief knowing that if nothing else, at least we had hit rock-bottom?  How innocent we were.  Sure, as jaded as we now of necessity must be, it is easy to write off this historic impeachment as mere spitting into the wind.  However, and you know things are bad when the voice of optimism must be found at Paying Attention, allow me to suggest that this is not exactly a hollow victory – at least not yet.  It remains full of promise.

No, we should see Chrump’s impeachment more as an unwhacked piñata.  Unlike the full-of-shit actual Chrump, this Chrumpiñata is full of goodies: phucked-up phone calls, egregious emails, trainwreck tweets – yum, yum.  We just have to be blindfolded, or blindsided as the case may be, and spun around a few times.  Then we start flailing away with a big stick and try to bust that sucker open, spewing its incriminating contents where they cannot be missed by any but the most Foxed up ignoramuses.

You know there is more juicy evidence in here,
let’s beat it out of this ugly piñata.

As of this writing, while Chrump spends the happy holiday season wetting himself regularly, more damning information continues to emerge – as if any more was actually needed – regarding Chrump’s bribery/extortion scheme with Ukraine.

I. Mangrey rejoicing.  Enjoy all the holidays that will come and go while Impeachment Season lingers on.